He was obviously pissed about the fact that I’d slept with Nolan, probably because it fucked with whatever dynamic they had going on as business partners, roommates, and friends.
I didn’t see why it mattered. It wasn’t like I was going to be around long-term. I was just a house guest. And honestly? There had been something therapeutic about giving my virginity to Nolan, one of the three men who’d exposed me to the world in high school.
I’d rewritten the script, created a version of it where I was sober, where I chose what happened to me instead of being so drunk someone else got to make the decision.
I don’t know. It sounded fucked up when I thought about it that way, but it was the truth. I’dlovedfucking Nolan. I’d had no idea sex could be so incredible, so consuming, the sensations flooding my body until they had bubbled out in a massive release that left me limp and gasping and still ready for more.
I stuffed down the fresh wave of lust that rose in my body and cursed my damp underwear.
Jesus.
It said a lot about my current situation — and none of it good — that it was safer to turn my thoughts to the meetingwith Storm. What could she have discovered in the past couple of days? Would the information take us closer to discovering the identity of Mr. Suit? And most importantly, would it allow me to leave the mountain house — and the three men who’d taken up residence in my fantasies?
Case in point? Less than three hours after I’d been fucked by Nolan in the shower, I was hyper-aware of Jude’s thigh next to mine. I thought again about the conversation in the kitchen the night I’d kissed him, the offer of a threesome even more tempting now that I knew what sex actually felt like.
(Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions…)
My religious guilt, stifled by the pure pleasure Nolan had delivered with his hand, mouth, and dick, was apparently not as easily ignored when thinking about fucking not one but two of the Bastards.
Ugh.
It was after noon by the time we reached Breakers, the sky a moody gray overhead.
Rafe parked next to a motorcycle and peered at the sky through the windshield. “We should have brought our boards.”
“It’s going to rain,” Jude said, reaching for the door in the backseat. “And the wind is picking up.”
“Exactly,” Rafe said.
The temperatures was still cool, Nolan, Jude, and I wearing jackets, but Rafe stepped out of the car in nothing but a T-shirt. Sometimes I wondered if he liked pain, if he liked making himself suffer.
“Pass,” Nolan said.
Jude started for the door of the bar. “Same.”
Nolan tried to take my hand, but I pulled away before Rafe or Jude noticed. I liked Nolan — and I really liked having sexwith Nolan — but he wasn’t my boyfriend. What we had was fun, an easy way to get my feet (and other parts of my body) wet in the sex department while I waited out my exile at the mountain house.
What it wasn’t was something serious, something that could last. I didn’t know jack about romantic relationships, but I knew they couldn’t be built on betrayal.
Breakers was even more crowded than it had been the last time we’d been there, probably because of the weather. Apparently the locals were no more into death by surf than Nolan and Jude.
An 80s song I only vaguely recognized blared from the jukebox on one wall and the same older guy as last time was manning the bar. And just like last time, a group of locals stood around the pool table in shorts and flip-flops, although I couldn’t tell if they were the same ones.
Apparently all surf boys looked the same to me.
The Bastards, on the other hand, stood out like sore thumbs. I walked behind Rafe and Jude and in front of Nolan, watching as all eyes in the bar turned to follow them, not just the handful of girls but the guys too. Their expressions ran the gamut from curiosity to fear and even loathing.
It was clear the locals knew Rafe, Nolan, and Jude and equally clear not everyone was a fan.
I was surprised to feel a surge of defensiveness. Who the fuck were these assholes — a bunch of people who seemed to spend all day surfing — to judge the Bastards, who’d served their country and actually worked for a living (the fact that their “work” involved committing crimes was an inconvenient truth I shelved for another time)?
Of course, their BDE didn’t hurt, because for all the shade Nolan and Jude threw Rafe’s way for his attitude, there was plenty to go around among the three of them.
This time there was no effort to hang out and be social. We walked right through the big main room to the back, where we’d talked to Storm the last time.
It was empty in spite of the crowd in the main room, like the smaller room was reserved for Storm, sitting at the same table in the back, this time with a big muscly guy with dark hair and a beard, a laptop open in front of him.
Jude slowed his footsteps when he saw the guy and I thought I noticed a tensing of Rafe’s jaw.