“We have to go,” I told him. “Jude said?— ”
Nolan rolled on top of me and raw hunger roared to life in my body. His dick was hard and nudging against the opening to my pussy, and yeah, I was sore, but that didn’t stop me from wanting more.
“Fuck Jude,” Nolan said, capturing my mouth into another kiss.
38
RAFE
“Well, they’re definitely fucking,”Jude said, returning to the kitchen.
I clenched my jaw and tried to focus on the words in the email on my laptop. “Don’t care.”
It was a lie. I knew it and Jude knew it, but I had to say it. I was like an actor in a well-rehearsed play. I knew my lines so well I couldn’t have ad-libbed if I’d tried.
“You sure about that?” Jude asked, pulling out a pan and setting it on the stove. He walked to the fridge and took out the eggs, then pulled a bowl down from one of the cabinets.
“Yes I’m fucking sure.” I didn’t know what was more annoying, the fact that Nolan had fucked Lilah while Jude and I were working or the fact that Jude knew it had gotten under my skin.
“He’s closer to her,” Jude said, cracking eggs into the bowl. “Because of the medical stuff.”
“What part don’t you understand aboutI don’t care?” The “medical stuff” Lilah and Nolan had in common was more than just Lilah’s heart thing, although Lilah didn’t know that yet.
“It’s okay to want her,” Jude said. He poured a little cold water in the bowl — a trick Jude swore made scrambled eggs softer — and used a fork to mix them together.
“I don’t.”
Even I knew I was lying.
“You don’t what?” Nolan said, walking into the kitchen. His hair was damp, his face arranged into the smuggest fucking smirk I’d ever seen on the fucker’s face.
“He doesn’t care that you fucked Lilah,” Jude said, cutting off a chunk of butter and dropping it into the frying pan.
Nolan barked out a laugh. “Bullshit.”
“It’s a bad decision,” I said, because it was a lot easier to chalk up the fact that Nolan had fucked Lilah — something I’d dreamed about since that night at Brandon Miller’s party — as a bad decision than as something that made me want to punch him in the face.
None of it made sense. Nolan, Jude, and I had shared women before — it was the twenty-first fucking century, for fuck’s sake — but it had always been casual, a way to blow off steam.
I had way too much history with Lilah for the word “casual" to come into play, but one thing was for damn sure: in my many fantasies about her, I was either fucking her alone or we were all fucking her together.
In no world was Nolan the one to get there first.
“Why is it a bad decision?” Nolan asked.
“Can you butter those?” Jude asked him when four English muffins popped out of the toaster.
“Because it is,” I said. “She’s not part of our lives.”
“Shewasn’tpart of our lives,” Jude pointed out. “She’s been living here for over a month.”
“The more tangled up you get in her, the harder it’s going to be when it’s time for her to go home,” I said.
Nolan turned to look at me. “Are you talking about me or yourself?”
I glared at him. “Don’t try to shrink me.”
“I’m not,” Nolan said. “It’s an honest question, because it seems like you have a lot of feelings about this, about Lilah.”