She lay back down, resting her head on my chest. “Who gets to decide who deserves it?”
“We do.”
“Don’t you think that’s… dangerous?” she asked. “Being the arbiters of your own moral code?”
“No,” I said. “We’ve seen enough evil to know it when it presents itself.”
She drew in a breath. “Jude told me some of what you guys went through in the military.”
“I figured he might have.” I couldn’t blame Jude. Lilah deserved some kind of explanation after Rafe’s nightmare, and I assumed she and Jude had some in-depth late-night convos.
“I’m sorry,” she said.
I tightened my arms around her. “Thanks.”
She’d started drawing lazy circles on my bare chest with her fingertip. She probably wasn’t even aware she was doing it but the contact sent sparks of electricity to the tip of my dick, which was getting harder by the second.
I covered her hand with mine. “You should probably stop that if you want to sleep, sweetheart.”
There was a long moment when she didn’t say anything, when I could have thought she was asleep if not for the feather-light touch of her fingers against my chest.
“Who said I want to sleep?”
I groaned and flipped on top of her, pinning her body to the mattress.
35
LILAH
This time,I had no one to blame but myself.
I was stone-cold sober and flattened underneath one of the men who’d ruined me, my body humming for him.
He touched my face. “Do you really want to do this? With me?”
It was a legitimate question, but there was only one answer in my mind. “Yes.”
“Fuck.” He lowered his head, capturing my mouth in a searing kiss that stole my breath. This time I knew what to expect and I opened to him all at once, hungry for his tongue and the heat of his mouth.
It was an entirely different experience than it had been at the beach. There, I’d been shocked by the feelings rushing though my body, the sensations entirely new even though I’d become an expert at satisfying myself with my vibrator. Plus, we’d been standing up, separated by my jeans and the bottom half of his wet suit.
Now we were smashed together, every hard peak and plane of his body molded to the softness of my own. We were still separated by clothing — my sweats and his sweat pants — but Iknew that wouldn’t last long when he broke our kiss to tug my hoodie over my head.
I lifted off the mattress to help him and he tossed the hoodie aside, then took a deep breath when he looked down at me.
He covered my tits with his hands. “Jesus, you’re more perfect than I remember.”
I ran my hands over his bare chest, taking in his sculpted muscles, his corded abs. I slipped a hand under the waistband of his sweatpants and he sucked in a breath when I closed my palm around the shaft of his dick.
And holy shit, I hadn’t been wrong before: he was big. Or maybe all men were big like this and I was just too inexperienced to know it.
There was a lot I couldn’t have known. Like the way his dick was silky and soft, the skin stretched taut with his erection. The way a bead of moisture rose to the tip and the way a strangled groan escaped his lips when I rubbed it around the crown.
He lowered his head to my neck, nuzzling my shoulder and dropping kisses at the base of my throat until I shivered with the excitement of it, goose bumps rising to the surface of my skin even as it was hot with desire.
I’d picked up an instinctual rhythm as I stroked his dick, and he moved his hips in time as his tongue darted out to lick the well at the base of my throat. He continued down to my tits, squeezing them both before dipping his head to suck on one of my nipples.
I arched my back with the pleasure of it, wanting him to take it all, offering myself up to him as I threaded the fingers of my free hand in his hair to hold his head in place.