“Sure,” Nolan said. “But then we wouldn’t have an excuse to surf.”
I’d been trying to ignore the fact that we were just inches away from each other in the back seat but that was kind of hard to do when he was talking. The fresh scent of his soap or shampoo or whatever was wafting off his body didn’t help either. Or the fact that his denim-clad knee was nearly touching mine, his big hand resting on the seat between us, close enough to touch.
“Isn’t there someone closer?” I asked.
I’d heard rumors that there were people in Blackwell who were into the cyber stuff. Maybe one of the guys from the Blades? I didn’t pay much attention to town gossip, but I was pretty sure there was someone closer than the beach, which was an hour down the mountain.
“You ask a lot of questions for someone who isn’t even supposed to be here,” Rafe said.
I could only see the side of his face from my vantage point in the back seat, but his scruffy jawline and sunglasses were enough to make my heart race. I told myself it was because I hated him, but I was starting to believe I was a liar when it came to the Bastards.
“You don’t have many answers for someone who acts like they have them all,” I said.
Nolan laughed next to me. “Tou-fucking-ché.”
Rafe’s sunglasses made it impossible to see his expression, but I did see the way his jaw tightened.
“I can’t wait to be back in the water.” Nolan looked at me. “You ever surf, sweetheart?”
I wanted to tell him to stop calling me by that nickname, not because I hated it but because I hated the way it made me feel. It was too intimate, like we were friends.
Like we might be more.
Except I also kind of liked the way it sounded, warm and familiar, in his mouth.
Ugh.
“No,” I said. “Life is scary enough without forcing myself out into the ocean on a tiny piece of fiberglass.”
Jude laughed from the front. “Damn, I never thought about it like that.”
“You scared?” Rafe’s tone was mocking.
I turned my face to the window, took in the stretch of ocean beyond the long sea grass that separated the road from the beach. “Being scared doesn’t change anything.”
Like most of the lessons in my life, I’d learned that one the hard way. Scared or not, life came at you. Riding its waves was more than enough to keep me on the edge of my seat, but maybe when things came easy, maybe when you walked through life safe and secure like the Bastards, you had to go looking for danger to remind yourself you were alive.
I didn’t need the reminder. The knowledge of it lived in my bones while I fought for my survival every day.
Rafe made a sharp, fast turn and pulled the Jeep into a small parking lot next to the beach.
“Shouldn’t we talk to the cyber person first?” I didn’t care that my voice dripped with annoyance. We weren’t here for the Bastards to surf. We were here to find answers so I could get back to my life.
So I could get away from the three men who were starting to make me feel more confused than I wanted to admit.
“We are,” Nolan said.
“We’re at the beach,” I pointed out as Rafe parked next to a red pickup truck.
“So is Storm,” Nolan said, opening the door.
I got out of the car and ended up standing next to Jude, who’d exited the front seat. “I’m confused.”
Jude grinned. “No need to be confused, boss. Just mixing a little business with pleasure.”
It didn’t make any sense but the words sent a flush of desire between my thighs.
(Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions…)