“I don’t need to,” I say as I move toward my room.
He keeps following.
“Can you stop for just a moment?” he pleads.
I stop outside my door and take a breath before turning to face him.
“I will be fine once I change. I promise this isn’t going to ruin your day.”
He frowns. “I’m not worried about my day being ruined, and it’s concerning that you think that.”
“I…” I grit my teeth and look away. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
Harmon puts his hand on my shoulder, moving closer. His hand goes to my neck, then up to my jaw where he forces me to look at him.
“I will never put this before anything you need. I hope you know that. If you need a day, you can take it. I will understand.”
“I will be fine,” I say, my bottom lip wobbling as more tears begin to fall.
I see something in his eyes that I don’t like—a mix of understanding and pity maybe.
“Okay.” He nods. “I’ll see you in the dining room then.”
The moment I step into my room, I remember.
“Harmon!” He turns. “Uh, sorry. I mean Master…”
“Harmon is fine here,” he says, walking back to me. “What do you need?”
“If my sisters need to get in touch with me, for an emergency, where can they call?”
“Give them my phone number. I will make sure to answer it,” he says simply.
“Th-thank you.”
I hurry into my room before the tears fall.
He’s being so nice to me today, and it’s not that he usually isn’t, but it’s different. It’s not just kindness, it’s sympathy.
He’d told me from the beginning he didn’t want to get into personal things, yet he’s offering to help me with them. I never thought he was an asshole, but I could tell he was a stern man. You don’t become the CEO of a place like his by being nice to everyone. He has boundaries and was firm on sticking to them… but this feels like he’s crossing them.
I quickly send Cammy Harmon’s number and let her know to make sure she puts it in Chrissy’s phone as soon as she can and let her know to use it if she needs. I’m mad at myself for not thinking of this before. I should have been prepared…
After changing, I sit on the bed and breathe. I take deep breaths and let them out, trying to get into the right head space for this. I will be fine when I go out there. I will be. I have to be. Everything is fine. If Cammy needs me, she can call Harmon.
I just want to be okay. I’m tired of not being okay but pretending that I am.
I’m already a few minutes late, so I hurry out of the room and to the kitchen. Harmon isn’t waiting in the dining room when I get there, which gives me a bit of relief. I get everything on the tray and set up his food at the table, then kneel in my spot beside his chair.
I focus on the table, on the plates and the cup and the silverware. I spell out the words in my head. I read the letters on the bottle of whiskey. I do everything I can to keep my mind busy, and when Harmon walks through the door, my mind goes blank. I sit up straighter, take a deep breath, and wait… I wait for him to tell me what to do.
Everything is easier when he tells me what to do.
Harmon takes his seat and begins to eat, feeding me a bite now and then. I don’t want it, far from it, but I take it because he’s telling me to. And when I’m here with him, I do everything he tells me to. It’s easier that way.
“Leave the dishes,” he says, putting the napkin on the table. “Follow me.”
I follow after him down the hall and into the sitting room. The fireplace is already going, the lights dim. He goes to his spot on the couch, and I move to mine.