Brushing my knuckles along his cheek, I revel in the few more seconds I have before he wakes. His eyes peel open. Confusion dims his eyes, but then recognition hits. He sits up, looking around the room the same as I did.
“What time is it?”
“Nearly one in the morning.”
“Sorry,” he mutters, rubbing his eyes.
“Nothing to be sorry for.” I get up and offer him my hand. He takes it and gets to his feet, rubbing at the back of his neck.
“Would you like help with that?” I offer.
“No, I’m good.”
Nodding, I say, “You can stay in your room tonight, if you’d like. If you don’t want to make the drive home.”
“Thank you, but I told Chrissy—uh, I told my sister I’d bring her to school in the morning.”
We both know that’s not the reason he’s not staying. He could wake in the morning and still take her.
“That’s probably for the best,” I say, knowing it’s the truth and hating it. “Do you need anything before you go?”
“I’m good. Thank you.”
“Go change. Head home. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
He nods, giving me a tired smile. I leave the room and head upstairs to bed, where I don’t sleep a wink.
Chapter Seventeen
Cassius
I sleep like shit. Waking up on Harmon’s lap was… confusing. It wasn’t bad, it was… strange. Not what we agreed to do, yet it somehow happened. I’m not mad about it, it was an accident on both our parts. I can only assume he fell asleep too, considering so much time had passed. If he wanted it to happen, he’d say it. Offer me more money to stay the night or something.
When I left his house, I stopped at the first gas station I saw to get a coffee, because I wasn’t sure I’d make it home without passing back out. I haven’t felt this relaxed in a long time. The way he was rubbing my hair, so gently it almost tickled, it was comforting. Tender. I fell into a deep sleep, and even though I was hunched over his lap, it was agoodsleep. I didn’t realize I liked to have my hair played with before Harmon. But because I sucked down a coffee to make it home, I could hardly sleep when I got there, which made waking up this morning to bring Chrissy to school a grade-A bitch. Still, I did it because she was excited about walking into school with a donut and coffee.
The little things…
It’s silly, but I get it. She wants to fit in. How many other high school kids walk into school with a coffee? I bet that’s normal. Our whole town isn’t poor, just a portion of it. I bet a lot of the kids walk in with fancy shit, and Chrissy just wants to be like everyone else. She doesn’t say it, but I know she already feels like she doesn’t fit in because of her seizures. Having to wear a medical bracelet was something that bothered her for a long time. She finally got used to it, but having seizures in school, in front of the kids, didn’t help. They’re afraid of her, in a way. Though, I know it’s not her—it’s the situation. I can’t fault them because it is scary, but what I can fault them for is not accepting her for it anyway.
Chrissy pretends to be strong, acts like she doesn’t care, but I see it. I know she worries about what they think. I know that about her because I’m a pro at pretending too. We all are. And we all know the other is bullshitting, but we let each other get away with it because what else do we have? What’s the point of calling each other out? It doesn’t matter. It’s not important. We just hold our heads high and move on.
So, I get Chrissy her iced coffee and her donut, then drop her off at school. When I get home, I go back to sleep for as long as I can. When I wake up, the witch is in.
I walk out of the bathroom to go into my bedroom to change, but before I get there, she’s calling my name. I can tell by the tone that it won’t be good. But it’s better to answer her than ignore her.
“Yeah?” I call, gritting my teeth and turning to face her. She’s sitting on the couch, wearing a shirt that’s hanging off her shoulder and leggings that have cigarette burn holes in them.
“Heard you were moving out.”
“What?” I ask, my heart pounding harder. “Where the fuck did you hear that?”
“Don’t swear at me, you little prick.” She takes a drag of her cigarette, blowing the smoke toward the ceiling while poking the butt out into the ashtray on the coffee table that’s already too full. Ash and butts fall onto the stained table. “You think you can move out and not pay rent anymore? You trying to fuck me over or something?”
“I never said that.”
I don’t know how she found out… what she’s heard or who she heard it from. I haven’t said anything to anyone. Sure, Abe knows, but he doesn’t talk to my mom. Maybe Eddie overheard me and Abe talking about it? Gossip travels through this park faster than an STD.
She gets up, pointing her finger in my face. “You better keep your ass in line, or you won’t like what happens.”