“Yeah, but that’s different.”
“It doesn’t have to be.”
“Harmon…”
“Cassius, stop being afraid of the unknown.” He taps the papers on the desk. “This is exactly what you need. It’s what you’ve wanted this whole time. Don’t pretend being my slave was top of your list. This is a real job.”
“I don’t regret what I did,” I say quickly.
“I know that.” He gives me a soft smile. “But I know what you need. Let me give it to you.”
“I—”
His cell rings, and he picks it up from the desk. “Sorry, I need to take this. Hello?” I listen to the one-sided conversation, unable to make out what the other person is saying. “Did you think about my offer? And you’ve made a decision? Good. I’m glad to hear it. I can have papers drawn up this afternoon. I can bring them to you, or you can come here. Whatever is easier for you. Yeah, I could do that too. No, I will handle all of that. I am sure. Yep, okay. No, I haven’t said a thing. That’s up to you. Of course. Nice talking with you. Bye.” He ends the call and puts his phone down. “What were you saying?”
I pinch the bridge of my nose. “Isn’t there a rule about not dating employees?”
“No.”
“No? That’s it? Justno?”
He shrugs. “My lawyer is married to the secretary to one of the fashion execs who is dating, and has been for at least two years now, one of the tech guys. As long as I’m not your direct supervisor, which I am not, then there is no problem.”
“You have an answer for everything, don’t know?”
“Yes.” He smirks.
I groan and hold out my hand. He grins as he gives me a pen. I sign the contract. There’s nothing here I can argue. He’s right about it all.
“I’ll make sure these are processed today, along with the money owed to you from breaking our contract early.”
“Oh no, you—”
“It will all go into the account that is set up for you. You can keep the cell that you have as a personal one or turn it into your work phone and get a separate one for personal use. Either way is fine with me, but you won’t want to use only one phone, I assure you. These people don’t know when to stop calling. And I suggest leaving your work phone in your desk while you’re not on the clock.”
“I’ll figure it out,” I say, still feeling icky about this. It all feels too easy.
Yes, I’ve struggled for a long time, and I always wondered when I would get a break. But now I can’t stop wondering what I did to deserve all this, while there are still so many people struggling out there. The guilt is starting to weigh on me.
“There are some forms you’ll have to fill out. Tax stuff and other things we need on file, but that can be handled on your start date.”
“Which is?”
“Monday.”
I stare at Harmon. He stares right back. I can’t figure out if I want to punch him or fuck him. Kind of both. But punching him would be unfair. I’m frustrated, but it’s not with him. It’s just my situation. I’m grateful for him, and everything he’s done for me. Even if, in the beginning, he had no idea how much it would matter to me. He does now, and has for a while, and he’s only doing more. For me, and my family. This man is… amazing.
His gaze is soft as he holds mine. Emotion wells in my chest, making my entire body warm. The way he looks at me, it’s so much. He’s always looked at me like a person. Like I matter. There hasn’t been a single moment when I’ve questioned his attention. It’s always on me. Always.
“Harmon, I think I—”
A rapid knock on the door stops me from talking. I snap my mouth shut, grateful for the interruption. I can’t believe I was about to tell himthat.
I can’t even be sure it’s true. I appreciate him. I like being with him. I’m grateful for all he’s done. But is that why I’m feeling this way? Is it because of what he’s doing for me? That’s not a reason tolovesomeone, is it?
How do you know when you love someone? I’ve never seen a healthy relationship, so I don’t know what that looks like. Iknow I love my sisters, but that’s always been there. It’s not something that happened—it always was. Do I care about Harmon the way I care about my sisters? Sort of, but it’s different. I’m not as protective, because Harmon can take care of himself. But if he got hurt, I’d be upset. If I didn’t talk to him, I’d be concerned. If he never spoke to me again, I’d be hurt and not just stressed over the money but over him. I’d miss him.
So yeah, I definitely have feelings for him. But is it love?