I bite the inside of my cheek, thankful for the blood that coats my tongue. Thankful for the pain that holds back the deafening scream.
“Lena, he’s here.”
My heart stops, then races. “He? Who?”
“Johnny. He’s here.Oddio. He’s okay. He’s here.” Bianca breaks down and I recognize Johnny’s voice close to the phone, private words I shouldn’t hear. Don’t want to hear.
“But Rem,” I ask in a panic. “Where is Rem?”
Johnny is the one who answers. “He’s okay, Lena. He’s alive.”
“But is he with you?” I’m practically screaming down the phone.
“He’s not here,” Johnny says. “But I swear to you he’s okay and that he’ll be back as soon as he can.”
“That’s it? That’s all I get.”
“Mi dispiace. That’s all I’m allowed to say, Mrs. Cosenza.” Johnny sounds exhausted and I want to hate him for dismissing me like this, but I can’t.
“I know, Johnny. It’s okay. I get it. I’m glad you’re back safe. You need to be with Bianca now. I’ll let you go.”
“Grazie mille. And trust me, Rem is fighting tooth and nail to get back to you as fast as he can.”
With that promise, the line goes dead, and I’m left to wait for my husband, alone.
Three hourslater and there’s still no sign of Rem. I have a choice to make: tear out my hair in worry or break everything in our room in rage.
I know I’ll regret both so, clinging to what little sanity I have left, I go to Rem’s office instead. I don’t know what I hope to find there. The room is dark, as is the hallway leading to it. The sound of male voices drift from other parts of the penthouse;there’s no question that Rem’s guards are still on duty. But no one has come to find me, to give me any updates at all.
I don’t know which makes me angrier, the fact that no one has bothered to tell me what’s happened to my husband—my husband included—or that not knowing is short-circuiting my ability to function.
His smell, that woodsy, earthy scent I’ve come to crave so much, envelops me as soon as I walk into his office. I stand in the doorway, giving myself a moment to breathe it in. Then I walk through the room, turning on a few of the table lamps as I go. Once I’m no longer surrounded by darkness, I collapse on the sofa that’s along one side of the office. The leather is cold. There aren’t any blankets around. I curl myself into the tightest ball I can manage, wrapping my arms around my knees, teeth chattering from exhaustion and worry and the chill.
Rem’s been gone too long. I don’t want to believe it, but maybe Johnny was wrong. Maybe Rem’s more badly injured than he thought. Maybe Rem is already dead…
The fear chases me around my head, over and over, until my body feels hollow. I swear my skull is going to split open, that my brain is going to spill all over the leather.
Rem can’t die.
Twisted in a jumble of trembling limbs, the only coherent thought I can manage is that Rem can’t die.
My life has taken so many twists and turns since the night he knocked me clear of the snipper’s fire, but as I feel myself breaking apart on the sofa, I know that of everything that’s changed, I’m what’s changed the most. Because I know now, without a doubt, I love Rem.
His strength, his loyalty, his caring nature beneath all the rough edges and dark tattoos. His heart. His unwavering commitment to family.
A family that now includes me.
Tears drip down my face, my trembling now caused bysilent sobs. I can’t lose Rem. I’ve survived a lot, but I don’t think I can survive that.
“Piccolina?”
A deep voice drags me back to consciousness. I must’ve fallen asleep. I’m cold, stiff. My nose is stuffy and my eyes feel puffy from crying. That more than anything tells me I’m not dreaming.
That deep voice comes again. “Lena, what are you doing in here?”
“Rem?” I sit upright, almost falling off the sofa in the process. Strong hands catch me. The faster I blink the faster Rem’s face comes into focus. He’s covered in something that looks like soot from a fireplace. There’s dried blood on his jaw and forehead. The skin around his right eye is a violent shade of purple. He looks like he’s been through hell. And is absolutely gorgeous.
“Oh my God.” I fling my arms around his neck, tucking my face against the warm skin there. “You’re really here.”