“This afternoon, he meets with a new doctor. He’s supposed to have major surgery next Friday,” she said.
General North nodded and changed the subject. “Someone else I know is stubborn. Tell me about what you’ve been doing since you started here.”
“Okay,” Gwen yawned, and her green eyes flitted closed.
Chapter 18
The walk to the elevator made his stomach gurgle. Troy forced out a breath. “I’m scared shitless. I don’t know what I’m doing, Tim. While you were in surgery with Gwen, I called Finch from the bathroom, and I’m still over the edge of the cliff.
“When Gwen’s deep background check came back showing unexpected things, I questioned her about the issues—no, I interrogated her. She explained more about what I found. Professionally, I needed to know specifics. Her story—Jessie Brooks had similar injuries. I put up a wall, a high wall. I couldn’t bear what she was telling me. I felt guilty about not being as strong as her. She is so brave. Then I made her come in for a complete evaluation.
“Last night I apologized. My response to a simple mistake was inappropriate for the offense. I was afraid I’d lose her. I told her what happened to me, and I told her it wasn’t the right time for me. Bless her, she told me I was worth the wait. And then this happens. Tell me she’ll be alright.”
Tim sighed, “You did right by having her evaluated. You are her boss. What about you?”
“I’m her boss with feelings for her. The no BS rule. How do you think I feel? James Richmond, I could feel his pain. Jessie Brooks, she was so frightened and in agony. A new client came in, Dr. Brody Garrett, reported multiple cases, including himself. He was accompanied by his wife—she was the first sexual assault victim I helped. I asked Russ to evaluate him.
“And there’s Gwen. I know I’m her boss, and if I didn’t make her go over the discrepancies, Julian or Martin would have. I wanted to tell her how beautiful she is. I wanted to make love to her. Instead, I yelled at her for a mistake, and then I treated her like a generic victim.”
“Generic victim? I don’t think you treat anyone like a generic victim. More importantly, did you tell her how you feel?”
“How could I? I’m playing with her feelings. Tim, I’m…” Troy shook his head.
“Take a breath. What is driving this anxiety?”
“She said she’d wait until I’m ready. What if nothing changes?” Troy closed his eyes.
“What if?” Tim pushed.
“She deserves a real man!” Troy yelled.
“You’re a fake man?” he said sarcastically.
“Damn it, you know what I mean,” Troy angered.
“I don’t. I see fear, and I see loathing. I see guilt. But I see a man.”
“She told me a penis standing at attention does not make a relationship,” Troy laughed.
“Well, she’s right. You have no idea what's going on until we see Dr. Novak,” Tim warned.
“We?Youwill be standing there trying to keep me from losing my shit. And I will be at the whim of a doctor whose career involves dealing with men’s dicks.” Troy’s brow rose.
Tim rolled his eyes. “What’s the worst thing that can happen? You lose your shit. And we will talk it through, and you’ll pull yourself back together.”
Troy shook his head. “You know, Holland, you’re starting to grow on me. Which one of my dear colleagues is going to surprise us?” He began shoving his emotions into boxes.
It was Tim’s turn to shake his head. “Julian. Tonight might get a little more medical than Tuesday night. That’s why Trask is coming along too. We need him to get used to the doctors treating you. And brush up on a few skills.”
Trask walked a pace behind Troy and Tim. Troy stopped walking and faced Trask. “I know you have my best interests at heart, but if you try to sanitize something again, you’ll be working the mailroom. Clear?”
“Yeah. I’m sorry,” Trask said.
“No apologies.” Troy punched Trask’s shoulder. “Don’t do it again.”
“Okay, you two. Now that you’ve made up, I don't know how much of an evaluation Dr. Novak will want to do. Julian also wanted a chance to help you before the baby comes. You’ve got some group of friends.”
Troy sniffed. “That’s one thing you don’t have to tell me. All right, here we go.”