‘I don’t know if he really even sees me, anymore,’ she whispered. ‘Since Mum, it’s just been…’
She searched for the right words and drew a blank. The truth was, it had been hollow. Empty. ‘Anyway…’ She trailed off into nothing, grateful for the reappearance of the waiter to take their food orders. Though she hadn’t even looked at the menu and instead appealed to Theo to choose for her.
He ordered a selection of things, and by the time they were alone again, Annie had resolutely pushed the grief of her own life aside. She hadn’t come here to unburden herself to Theo, but rather to find out more about him.
‘That’s my sad story,’ she said, tilting her head to the side and considering him. ‘Now it’s your turn.’
‘Is that how this works?’
‘Yes, usually. You know, conversation ebbs and flows.’
His smile was tight. ‘I’m familiar with the concept.’
‘But not particularly skilled with the execution.’
His next smile was more of a grimace. ‘We can’t all have your charm.’
She flinched, because it didn’t come across as a compliment at all. He expelled an angry breath, then surprised her by saying, ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that as it sounded.’
‘Like you resent my “charm”?’
‘In fact, I admire it,’ he said, slowly, as though the words were dragged from him against his better judgement.
‘Coming from the man who can walk into any room, say one word and have everyone fall silent to hear you speak?’
He let out a gruff laugh. ‘Is that how you view me?’
‘It’s how everyone views you.’
‘That’s because I have money.’
‘No, it’s not that.’
‘Believe me, it’s a factor.’
‘I grew up with money,’ she demurred. ‘Surrounded by it, in fact. Your charisma is regardless of your bank balance.’
‘Are you saying if I’d still been living on the streets, you’d have looked at me twice?’ he pushed, his voice dark with resentment, so she felt a hum in her brain telling her she was close to a source of pain for him. And it wasn’t that she wanted to cause him distress, but rather, to get to the heart of his life’s experience, so she could better understand him.
‘I don’t deal in hypotheticals,’ she volleyed back, with a small smile. He rewarded her with a flicker of his own lips, and her heart stammered. But she wouldn’t be misdirected by a simple smile. ‘How long were you on the streets for, Theo?’
She sensed it again; that immediate withdrawing, like he was physically erecting a structure between them. ‘Long enough.’
‘A year? Two years? Four?’
‘Does it matter?’
‘Yes. I think it matters a great deal to you, and it matters to me, too.’
‘Why?’
‘Because it’s a part of who you are.’
‘I left that boy behind a long time ago.’
‘Did you?’ she pushed, pressing her elbows to the table and lacing her fingers together beneath her chin. ‘Are you sure?’
His eyes bore into hers. ‘What are you suggesting?’