‘You’re up,’ he drawled, from close by, so she really had no option but to be brave and glance in his direction. She looked his way slowly though, as if steeling herself for what she might see.
Somehow, this was even harder than if he’d been naked. That she’d been prepared for. But a towel wrapped loosely around his hips, concealing his anatomy from her, but making her want to peel the towel away and take another peek, was all too confusing. She jerked her head back to the coffee cup quickly, but not so quickly she missed the quirk of his lips—a knowing smirk, as if he’d taken one look at her bright pink face and the spilled cup and worked out what was going on.
‘Enjoy the view?’
Yes, that confirmed it, she thought ruefully. ‘I’ve seen better,’ she heard herself respond, the words curt—and untrue.
A hiss from between his teeth confirmed she’d hit her mark. Well, good. His arrogance and the way he lorded her attraction to him over her was wearing thin. So what if she’d lusted after him from the minute she’d first laid eyes on him? That had been a schoolgirl crush, and it had prevented her from seeing him as he really was. It was only this last month in which the scales had fallen properly from her eyes.
‘Are you trying to provoke me, Annie?’
‘Why would I want to do that?’
‘Perhaps you’re trying to goad me into kissing you again.’
‘Believe me, kissing you is the last thing I want to be doing,’ she muttered, aware it was a dishonest statement to make.
He let out a sound of amusement, but then, to her chagrin, he was reaching down and pulling her to standing. They were so close, she could see the flecks of grey in his eyes, in amongst thedark, almost black. ‘You are a liar,’ he said, but it was with a hint of amusement.
‘I’m not—’
He pressed a finger to her lips. ‘We both know I could prove it, just by touching you.’
Embarrassment curdled in her gut, and she wished then, more than anything, that she’d at least slept withsomeone. It wasn’t like she hadn’t had opportunities. She’d been on dates, set up by her parents, and then later, after her mother had passed away, by her father. She knew she’d dated men who’d been attracted to her. But Annie had never felt a spark of interest in anyone besides this man, and back when they’d been an item, he’d been painfully determined not to rush her into bed.
‘What’s your point?’ she asked, after a beat.
He dropped his finger lower, to her shoulder, his eyes shifting a little, before spearing her once more with the intensity of his gaze. ‘I believe in calling a spade a spade. That’s a quality I think we both share. You do not need to goad me into kissing you, Annie. I’ve already told you, ask for what you want, and I’ll give it willingly.’
She swallowed past the lump in her throat. ‘I can’t work out if you want to demean me, by making me ask.’
His eyes flared wide.
‘Is that it? Are you still so angry with me for daring to dump you, that your ego needs to be stroked by me now? Do you need to hear me say it was a mistake? That I wish we hadn’t broken up?’
He swore then, a quiet yet guttural sound ripped from the depths of his belly.
‘It was not a mistake,’ he said, slowly, clearly. ‘We both know that.’
The ground seemed to tilt beneath her feet. It was the last thing she’d expected him to say. ‘Yes,’ she said, valiantly,refusing to let him see that she was reeling. ‘It was the right decision.’ It had been. She couldn’t have ever done anything to put her parents through more pain and grief. Even now, marrying Theo, whilst hurtful to her father, was simply the lesser of two evils.
‘For a while, I thought I wanted something different with my life.’ He was talking to her, but almost talking through her, as though he was back in the past, remembering the way he’d been then. ‘But it was an illusion.Youwere an illusion.’
‘I could say the same about you,’ she muttered. ‘The man I thought I was spending time with clearly doesn’t exist.’
‘That is also true. See how good we are at this honesty thing?’
‘You want more honesty?’ she asked.
‘You’ve already told me you hate me,’ he reminded her.
‘I suppose it doesn’t hurt to repeat it, though.’
‘Nothing you say has the power to hurt me,’ he said, simply. ‘But you are welcome to keep trying.’ He leaned closer, so his lips were just a hair’s breadth from hers. ‘I like fighting with you, Annie. I think we both know that if you keep it up, we’ll end up in bed together, so by all means, do your worst.’
Her jaw dropped and her brain went blank. He was so casual about sex, about referring to going to bed together. Would he be the same if he knew she was a virgin?
Annie frowned, the idea not one she’d really contemplated. But somehow, she suspected even this version of Theo might balk at the idea of being her first lover under these circumstances. She was a twenty-seven-year-old innocent. Not really by choice or design, but because of circumstances. Almost her entire life, it had been about Theo. After their break-up, and her mother’s death, she had come to the conclusion she didn’t have a sexual bone in her body. She simply wasn’t interested in dating, or exploring that side of herself.