What would it be like to come home from a shift and be able to lose myself completely in her? The appeal of it had my lungs tightening until I could barely breathe.
But would it really be so bad if we temporarily gave in to the chemistry churning between us? Could we take our friendship and add the benefit part without either of us losing a bit of ourselves? Without it ending in a marriage that would only serve to break her…or me…or both of us?
But if we slept together and Maisey ended up wanting more, my childhood wounds would eventually resurface. What would happen when she reached for me and found only wood where my heart should be?
Delilah’s bloodless face swam before my eyes from one of the worst nights of my life.
No, it was better to forget the lust, leave it completely out of our friendship.
It was easier said than done though. I’d been trying to put these new thoughts of Maisey behind me for a week. And with her in and out of every room of my house with me for two days before she went back to work, I’d be continually tempted. I’d have to fight every second to keep my hands off her small, delightful curves and my mouth off those sweet lips.
I shook my head. What I needed was a goddamn project to keep myridiculous hands busy. I needed hard labor that would drain me of all energy so my dick was too tired to crave more, at least until I returned to the station in four days, where I’d get a respite.
The next big project at my house was supposed to be the backyard, but I could start on her dad’s place instead. The sooner we finished there, the sooner she’d move out, and we could return to the easy friendship we’d had for years without me destroying it by giving in to my stupid-ass libido.
I cleared my throat, drawing Maisey and her dad’s attention. “We’ll need an inspection and permits before we demolish the damaged kitchen, but I’m going to start tearing off the ruined porch tomorrow.”
Her dad’s jaw clenched. “It can wait until my hand is better, so I can help.”
Maisey sighed, and just that little exhale hit me low in the groin. How had it gotten this bad so quickly? Too bad, with the entire town knowing we were engaged, I couldn’t head to the bar and find some tourist to screw senseless just to take the edge off.
“We’re going to need Beckett’s help, Dad, so we should work around his shifts. It makes sense to start while we’re both off. Our schedules won’t always overlap like this.”
Lewis stared at Maisey for a long moment, and when he spoke, it was choked with emotion. “You’re so much like her that, at times, I can almost see her standing there.”
My chest constricted as Maisey’s face paled, and her fist tightened on her fork until her knuckles turned white.
“Once your mother got an inkling to do something, it took hellfire to stop her. Remember the time she reroofed the house while I was gone?” Lewis’s eyes remained glossy and lost in the past.
“Chelsea was livid because she ruined her manicure.”
Lewis’s reply was quiet and pained. “You were too young to be on the roof. It should have been me. I let you all down so many times simply by not being here.”
“That’s not true,” Maisey said, throat bobbing. Except, it was. Lewis should have been the one to find his wife when she died, not Maisey.
Lewis’s response surprised me. “It is true. But I’m going to do my best to be here now. So if you two want to work on the porch tomorrow, I’ll be there, doing what I can one-handed.” He rose from the table and put his plate in the dishwasher. “With that plan in mind, I guess I’d better get some rest.”
He came over and kissed Maisey on the top of the head before walking down the hall.
Maisey stood and started clearing the table. I joined her, loading thedishwasher while she boxed up the remaining food.
“You okay?” I asked.
“Sure.”
“Maisey—”
She shook her head, put the last of the food in the fridge, and then pressed a hand to her stomach. “Can we not do this right now? I don’t think I can handle one more emotional discussion today. I’m tapped out. All I want to do is unpack a few more boxes and collapse in bed with a book.”
She was avoiding me, not just because of the conversation that had just happened with Lewis, but because of whatever my dad had said to her at the lake. But the truth was, I needed the space as much as she did. I needed to get my head and body back in alignment before I did something stupid and tossed all my beliefs and all my baggage to the side and tried to claim her as mine.
So when she walked down the hall, and my dog and the kitten followed her, I didn’t say a word to stop any of them. I just headed in the opposite direction, hoping a good night’s sleep would somehow fix the turmoil the day had wrought.
Chapter Fifteen
Maisey
CHEMISTRY