If he’d been hard to resist as a beanpole of a teen who’d shared his deepest, darkest wounds with me, it was impossible to resist the muscle-bound fire captain he’d become, especially with that perfect dimple in his right cheek and his confidence the size of the entire state of California.
I ripped the band out of my hair and tried hopelessly to fluff it up. It didn’t cooperate, especially without any of the multitude of products I usually used to help it. The strands had always been straight as a board and were a generic brown that no one asked their hairdresser to repeat. I’d tried highlights and different colors over the years, but it had ultimately ruined the fine texture and made things worse. So these days, I stuck with plain brown. I stuck with who I was.
Maisey the sidekick to two best friends.
Maisey the helper.
Maisey the nurse.
I’d never beenhot Maisey,who had equally hot guys drooling after her.
I’d stopped expecting any sort of miracle like that in college. One too many “hot guys” had made it clear I should be grateful they’d “chosen me” for sex, but I shouldn’t expect anything more. I shouldn’t expect dates and romance.
Even still, I hadn’t given up on love and companionship the way Beckett had. I still felt like it was out there for me, somewhere, with someone. But I also wasn’t going to let some disappointing-in-bed guy make me feel bad about the hardly noticeable scars on my jaw from the surgery that had finally and permanently corrected my severe malocclusion.
I snagged my reusable water bottle off the shelf, shoved my bag onto my shoulder, and slammed the locker door. A horrifying screech escaped at the face that appeared in front of me.
“Holy potatoes, Meredith, you scared the hell out of me.”
Her face remained serious as she said, “I need you to cover Lisa’s shift tomorrow.”
Part of me groaned at the idea of working another shift, while another part of me was excited at the thought of being in Labor and Delivery. I’d loved working L&D at my first hospital after college. But when I’d joined Swift Rivers Community Hospital, they’d only had a job in the floater pool available, and due to liabilities, floaters rarely got to work in specialty departments.
“What’s wrong with Lisa?”
Meredith frowned. “She took off to Vegas with her new boyfriend and isn’t coming back. With that summer cold flying through the staff, the last thing we need is to be down another body.”
If Lisa was gone, it would mean a permanent position in Labor andDelivery had opened up. That vicious bitch, otherwise known as Hope, leaped through me, but she was just as likely to crush me as she was to give me what I wanted.
And as tempting as it was to say yes at the chance it would help me get the permanent job, I’d just worked five twelve-hour shifts in a row, instead of my usual three, covering for people at Meredith’s request. I needed a break and had planned on spending the morning on my horse at the Harrington Ranch, training for the Fourth of July show, and then binge-reading a new cowboy romance.
I sidestepped Meredith and headed for the exit. “Ask Wendy.”
“Wendy is going to a wedding. If you want the spot on the Labor and Delivery team, this is your opportunity to show you can handle it. Plus, you promised when I hired you that you’d pull every shift needed.” Meredith pouted.
I felt that old, familiar twinge deep inside—guilt at being the reason others didn’t get what they needed or wanted. My therapist had almost yanked the tendency out of me, but it still surfaced now and again. I inhaled deeply and let it out slowly before responding.
“That was three years ago, Meredith. I’ve proven my loyalty and my willingness to be a team player since then. I’ve proven I can handle any ward you’ve thrown at me. If the managers here don’t think I’m ready for a position in Labor and Delivery, perhaps I should consider looking for a job elsewhere. I hear County is hiring.”
“That isn’t what I said,” she backpedaled, knowing the hospital couldn’t afford to be down two nurses, and I felt another pang of guilt at pushing her. But damnit, I’d paid my dues.
As I headed for the door, I did something I rarely did—I made a demand on my own behalf. “I want the Labor and Delivery spot. If you and Becka can guarantee I’ll be the first person in line for the job, then I’ll cover tomorrow. Otherwise, find someone else.”
My heart was pounding, but I didn’t look back as I left.
A weird mix of pride and remorse surged through me. I’d earned the spot. I’d put in the time and done what I could to help the hospital, and yet I could still hear Chelsea’s voice in my head, telling me I was being selfish for demanding more. She wasn’t right, but she also wasn’t wrong. As a kid, I’d taken so much of our family’s time and resources that it had scarred my sister almost as much as it had scarred me.
Outside, I took a deep breath, surprised at the heaviness in the air. It had been nearly ninety today, normal for summer at the base of the Sierra Mountains, but the humidity was unusual. It had hung over the town for a week now, as if a storm was brewing somewhere out past the mountains,waiting to break. Or maybe that was just the thriller novel I’d finished last night getting to me.
The sky was still light, but the shadows were stretching toward my faded-blue pickup as I climbed into the driver’s seat and started the engine, hoping it would start. When it coughed to life, vibrating my seat with its deep shudder, I sighed with relief.
I just needed it to last a few more years, at least until a pay raise and more savings gave me some breathing room to purchase a car. And even then, I’d rather buy back my horse Dad had sold off first.
Even though it had happened over a decade ago, just thinking about how I’d almost lost Titan was enough to make my chest contract. My friend Fallon and her billionaire family had stepped in to save the day, buying my horse and letting me treat him as if he were still mine. I was even more thankful for that gift than I’d been for the college scholarship they’d given me, and I was overwhelmingly and deeply grateful for the funds that had let me graduate debt-free.
My phone buzzed, a welcome interruption to the spiral into my troubled childhood that threatened to ensnare me. But when I saw it was Beckett calling, I almost didn’t answer.
If I talked to him, I’d weaken. I’d head to Frank’s like he wanted.