I rolled my eyes at him. “You saw me on Wednesday at the Emporium.”
Amusement lifted his lips once more. “Passing in the fruit aisle doesn’t count.”
It had been a long time since we’d really hung out one-on-one. But being with Beckett was always a double-edged sword—joy and pain. The truth was, it would be better if I spent even less time with him. Maybe then I’d actually get a date with someone who might make my dreams of a home and children come true.
I ached for a love and a permanence Beckett insisted didn’t exist.
I gulped at the cool air and forced lightness into my voice as I said, “Night, Beckett.”
“Night, Maise.”
I turned around and didn’t look back as I made my way up the porch steps, slid the key into the lock, and quietly opened the door. Once I’d shut it behind me, I leaned against it, only to be assaulted with memories of sneaking in just like this as a kid. Not from any rebellious teen adventures like Chelsea, but from reading books by flashlight with Beckett in his treehouse.
Surprisingly, it had been my sister who’d given me the hardest time when she’d caught me. She’d told me she couldn’t protect me if I was stupid enough to continue to dog after Beckett. She reminded me that I’d alwaysbe the deformed little girl next door whom he took pity on and not someone he wanted to date.
And I’d known she was right. I’d heard him say it himself after that horrible attempt at a kiss when I’d been twelve. Ever since then, he’d simply treated me as a friend. Someone he shared his secrets with, but not a woman he wanted to devour and claim.
And that was exactly what I wanted—to be devoured and claimed in a way that left no question as to whom I belonged to—so I could claim someone right back with equal ferocity. Unfortunately, all my experiences with men had been with jerks who couldn’t be bothered to keep me. Men who’d run just like Carter had after a failed makeout session in high school.
I pushed myself off the door and made my way through the living room, trying not to let the house's hollowness unravel me.
The neutral-colored, microfiber furniture, cream walls, and dark wood flooring were the same as they’d been before Mom had died, but the jewel-tone colors she’d splashed around the room had slowly dwindled over the years. The only remains of our happier days were the pictures piled in the dark wood built-ins. They showed my family stuck in a time before I’d turned fifteen, when Mom was still here. But even those bright images had faded now.
As I made my way to the kitchen that was stuck in time like the set of a canceled ’90s sitcom, the absolute neglect I found hit me in the gut. It wasn’t because of the chipped counters or cracked cabinets, but because of the stack of empty take-out containers and the smell coming from the sink full of dishes.
More guilt slammed into me. Dad had been home almost a week, and I hadn’t been by to see him. If I had, I would have been able to help him keep up with some of it. He’d never been good at cooking or cleaning, but as my therapist would gladly have reminded me, I wasn’t responsible for looking after an adult father. It should have been the other way around. He should have looked after his daughters when they needed him most.
Instead, after Mom’s death, he’d done what he thought he had to do, which was get behind the steering wheel of his semitruck and drive. He’d loved us, but he’d thought providing for us monetarily was the best way to support us, when what we’d really needed was him. Chelsea and I had been mere teenagers, left alone to keep up with Mom’s egg business, maintain the house, and hold everything together, while trying not to fall apart.
I shook my head. The alcohol and the memories my childhood home always brought back weren’t a good combination. I’d wash up, fall into bed, check on Dad in the morning, and then head out to the ranch to train with Titan. I’d use the fresh air and exercise to shake the haze of regrets and memories trying to stick to me like the humid air was clinging to our town.
Chapter Four
Beckett
LEGENDARY
Performed by Bon Jovi with James Bay
FIVE YEARS AGO
HIM: Bow down to King of the Pranks.
HER: Your ego has no limit. Who was on the losing end of your latest hijinks?
HIM: Just so you don’t think I have no heart, this was revenge. Stoney got me first, with the whole clear-plastic-wrap-on-the-toilet-seat prank. So, technically, he started it.
HER: And what did you do?
HIM: Ground up chocolate stool softener and put it in his latte.
HER: *** barf face emoji *** That’s just gross…and mean.
HIM: The only person I feel bad for is Mrs. Stone. I didn’t realize they were going out on a date last night.
HER: That’s awful!
HIM: She made him swear on Saint Florian that he was done with the pranks…hence me winning the final round and the crown.