His tears nearly broke me. I was barely holding myself together, barely holding the numbness around me like a cloak. I needed that for a few more hours, but I wouldn’t—couldn’t—let him take responsibility for something that was absolutely not his fault.
I ran my fingers along his jawline. He had to have started the day clean-shaven, but now the stubble coated his chin and cheeks. I was a sucker for a good layer of scruff. It was sexy and tantalizing. I wished I wasn’t too tired to take advantage of it.
Instead, I did what I could to comfort him. “Don’t do that, Beckett. The only person responsible for this is the person who attacked me. Not you. Not me. Not the fact we’ve told everyone we’re engaged.”
He kissed me. Tenderly. Sweetly.
The flame flickered to life between us, but it was dimmed because of the detachment I’d draped myself in, and I hated that maybe even more than I hated the fact that someone had come for me again.
I turned my cheek, resting it on the hard expanse of his chest, and my eyelids immediately drooped, the aftershock of the adrenaline rush dragging me under.
His chin rested on the top of my head, and his arms tightened around me again. He murmured something…something my subconscious told me I wanted to hear, but I couldn’t pull myself back from the abyss enough for it to truly sink in. I was gone. Lost in the darkness.
Until the early morning, when a nightmare finally bled through the cocoon he’d wrapped me in. In the dream, when I hit the ground, my clothes were torn from me. Someone was touching me. Reality mixed with the fear of what could have happened…
I jerked awake. Heart racing. Palms clammy.
“Shh. I’m here. I’m here, Maisey. You’re safe.”
I looked up into Beckett’s warm gaze, and my body instantly relaxed. I was safe. Here with him. I’d always been safe with him. I blinked away tears that welled.
As Beckett gently brushed my hair away from my cheeks, I scoured his face. He looked as tired as I still felt. Eyes shadowed. Light dimmed.
That shook the numbness away. Screw whoever this was. I refused to let them take our joy. Refused to let them take the pleasure of these moments we were making together and turn them into a tragedy. They wouldn’t get the best of me…or Beckett.
We’d both survived worse.
“Did you sleep at all?” I asked.
“A few minutes here and there.”
I registered the bright sunlight shifting through the wooden shutters on his windows. Crap. It was far later than I’d expected. I was going to be late. I sat up, demanding, “What time is it?”
He tried to pull me back to him, but I batted his hands away. My head spun as I turned too quickly, trying to catch a glimpse of the clock. Nine o’clock! I’d barely have time to get ready. “Fallon is going to be here in thirty minutes.”
“What? Why is Fallon coming?” Beckett’s voice was rough and raw.
“We’re going dress shopping for the ball.”
“Yeah. No. That’s not happening.” He sat up, brushing a hand through his thick waves.
“What? Why? Do you not want to go to the ball anymore?”
He gritted his teeth, clearly debating the answer.
“Beckett, the entire reason we started this pretend engagement was so you could convince the city council and the chief that you were ready toreplace him. Showing up at the Firefighters Ball is a requirement for anyone who wants the job. Youhaveto go tonight.Wehave to go. It’s the first time anyone will really see us together.”
“Everyone will understand. You wereattackedlast night.”
As if the nightmare I’d just woken out of hadn’t already reminded me. I swallowed hard, playing with my hair in that nervous habit I’d forced myself to outgrow. I pushed the messy strands behind my ear, baring my face on purpose.
I didn’t need to hide. And I wouldn’t allow whoever had attacked me to ruin Beckett’s chances at the chief position any more than I was going to let them ruin the time we were sharing together.
“If we don’t go, then we’re letting whoever did this win,” I said. To hell with that.
I threw the covers back and stood, careful to keep my balance even though my head was pounding as if a woodpecker was drilling into it, and my shoulder ached like a bitch. If Beckett saw I was hurting, it would only give him more reason not to go tonight.
But I wanted this. Not just for him, but for me. I wanted to show up on his arm in a fancy dress and prove to the town Beckett was mine. Even more, I wanted what came after. I needed what he’d promised me in his texts all week. The tangled skin. The sinful, feral claiming. I wasn’t going to skip it because of one asshole who thought they could scare me into giving up everything I’d always dreamed of having—giving up Beckett.