Because I think I was reaching a fever pitch moment where it either took a turn for the better or did me in. While it had hurt to sever my promise of intention to Arabella, I had lived through it. Surely, my feelings would start to improve at any moment.
Hastings wiped my face clean and turned to do the same to the razor.
“Hastings,” I hedged.
“Yes?”
I tapped my hand on my leg. “I plan to speak with Mr. Delafield at the first opportunity and quit Elmhurst.”
“Sir?”
I shrugged. “I am not going to marry Miss Delafield after all.”
Hastings frowned. “I am sorry to hear this. Has something happened?”
I tipped my head back again and stared at the ceiling, wishing it had the answers for me. “Yes, I fell in love with her.”
There was a long pause, and I looked up to see Hastings’s reaction. His frown had only deepened.
“It’s the right thing to do,” I explained.
Hastings suddenly chuckled. “You are in love with her.”
“I already said that, didn’t I?”
“Yes, but this is proof.”
I stood and reached for my riding jacket. “I suppose it is. I’m not certain when I’ll find the right opportunity to speak with Mr. Delafield, but I wanted to prepare you.”
“Thank you, sir. I wish you luck with both Mr. Delafield and his daughter.”
I sighed. “I’ll need both.”
I avoided the others in the house and strode right to the front door. At times like this, a man needed fresh air and the steady bounce of a horsebeneath him. Or rather, any distracting activity to keep from facing the grueling task of speaking with Mr. Delafield. I hated to be the one to disappoint him. He was like family to me.
After a hard ride and stalling as long as possible in the stables grooming my horse, I made my way back to the house. Once I had changed, I forced myself to go to the drawing room. I doubted I would find Mr. Delafield there, but like a glutton for punishment, I still hoped for a glimpse of Arabella. Mayhap she would smile at me when I entered the room. There was a first time for everything.
One smile would be enough to strengthen me for the task ahead. Though, I would not complain if her warm blue eyes beckoned me nearer or her willowy fingers reached for mine. I violently shook my head. It would be better if a glimpse of Arabella helped regulate my growing obsession to a reasonable level.
I stepped into the drawing room just as Arabella embraced Harriet in a firm hug. It was hard not to be jealous. I had been in those arms just last night, and they were a wondrous place to be.
“I am here if you need anything at all,” Arabella said to Harriet.
“Thank you,” Harriet said, pulling back.
They both seemed to see me at the same moment.
“Excuse me. I am interrupting.” I took a step back toward the door.
“Not at all,” Harriet said. “I was just leaving.” She turned back to Arabella. “I will come again as soon as I can.”
Arabella nodded. “See that you do, and we will have an afternoon of music where you can play to your heart’s content. I will even have cook prepare the lemon cake you enjoy so much.”
Harriet grinned. “With the almonds and that delicious glaze I love?”
Such a description was making me hungry.
Harriet clasped her hands in front of her chest. “Now you will not be able to keep me away.”