It didn't feel that way, though. This, whatever it was, felt natural.
I stared at the door, chewing on my bottom lip as I questioned myself. Finding no real answers, a sigh escaped me. There was nothing else for me to do right now.
A shower. Food. Sleep.
Those were things I could do.
The rest would wait for tomorrow.
9
OREN
Having her here eased the tension in my chest and I moved through the ritual of cooking with more lightness than I'd felt in a while.
Logic told me I was in deep already. I cared for Ayla. At least I could still be honest with myself about that. Getting her to stay here meant she was safe, but it hadn't been a completely unselfish offer. I'd wanted her here.
I want her.
It was the truth, through and through. And the humor of it wasn't lost on me. I'd spent years on this mountain, determined to be left alone, to never put my heart at risk again, and still, here I was. Craving every single second of time I could scrape together with this woman. I'd only met her hours ago, and yet, the idea of going without her for even an hour made my stomach knot up.
Laughter escaped me and I shook my head. I was grateful for that hungry bear. For the simple course of instinct that had driven him out of his den in search of food, leaving behind a trail of destruction that brought Ayla to me.
"What's so funny?" Her sweet voice washed over me and my blood went hot when I turned to look at her. Her hair was damp, the curls swaying as she cocked her head to look around me. "Wow, the food smells amazing."
I didn't say anything, my throat tight as she walked over to stand beside me. Her shirt was worn, weathered with time and washings, the print faded into the gray background. The dark yoga pants she wore clung to her curves and the freshly washed scent of her rose up. My soap. My shampoo. She was covered in my scent. And I loved it.
"Feeling better?" My voice was gravelly and low, almost a growl, and I swallowed hard. "You look comfortable."
She smiled, wide and bright, and it was the most free I'd seen her since she'd stumbled into my life. "I do. You were right. Plenty of hot water. Which is like pure luxury for a mountain cabin."
"I've taken plenty of cold showers in my life. When I built this place, I decided that I'd never have to do that again. Installed the best water heater I could find. Hasn't failed me yet."
She hummed, rocking forward on her toes, and then settling back down. "Anything I can help with?"
"No. I've got it. Go ahead and have a seat. Do you want anything to drink other than water?" Her eyes flicked to the table that was already set for two. Condensation drops had formed on the glasses, the cold water inside crystal clear. To me, it was better than any other water I'd ever tasted. For her, though, it might seem plain. Too simple.
"Water sounds amazing." Ayla settled into her seat, taking a long drink. "I didn't realize how thirsty I was until you mentioned it. This tastes just like the bottle you gave me in your workshop."
"It's from a natural spring. Fliltered through the rocks. I refill regularly. Your Grandma liked it, too. I always made sure to get some for her when she was here."
I set the food on the table between us. The steaks were perfectly cooked, surface dark and shiny. Thick, crusty bread and the bright green of fresh broccoli I'd traded for with a local who kept a greenhouse producing all year rounded out the meal.
"This looks delicious. You really did all this while I was taking a shower?" Ayla looked surprised. And maybe even a little impressed.
"Not a big deal. I had the steaks thawing for tonight. Was going to cook them both, eat one tonight, the other tomorrow." I could sense her apology coming so stopped her. "I'm happy to have the company. Got plenty of steaks on hand. Sharing with you is not a problem. Not even close."
Her cheeks went pink and she looked down at her food. I was afraid she might not eat anything, but then her eyes met mine. "Thank you."
Relief spread through as she cut a bite of meat and put it in her mouth. Her eyes dropped closed, and she moaned. The sound shot straight through me, and I couldn't stop the thought of what it feel like to have her make that sound for another reason all together.
"This is so good."
I cleared my throat, taking a drink from my own glass to buy time and rein in my own need. "Nothing special. Just butter, salt and pepper."
"Believe me, Oren, these steaks are definitely special. Delicious. I could eat them every night for the rest of my life."
She said it so casually, but my heart rate sped up at the idea. Of having this experience with her. Dinner, together, forever.