“Holly,” Jake calls from the entrance, stepping up to the counter as though he owns the place. “It’s been a long time.”
He smiles at some of the bakers he’s familiar with, leaning against the countertop as if making himself comfortable. The bakery must feel pretty familiar to him, given the amount of time he spent here with me. That was then, and now, he’s not welcome here.
I feel sick to my stomach. When he left, he didn’t just break up with me; he tore apart my future. I’ve worked damn hard to get my life back on track and out of the mess he created, and now here he is. Is it to gloat about how fabulous his new life is? Perhaps he is here to rub my face in his success and prod at the wounds he created.
What really annoys me is the fact he sounds so casual, like no time has passed, and he’s acting as though I should greet him like an old friend.
It feels as though my whole body is reacting to his presence. Not in a positive way, like it might have done in the past, but as though it’s trying to purge him from my system. My stomach flips and I can feel my hands trembling. Quickly, I ball them into fists and hide them in my dough. If he was to see that I was shaking, he would take that as me being overcome at his return. I know how his mind works and everything always comes back to him.
“Jake, what are you doing here?” I want to curse in annoyance, my voice scratchy and weak sounding. In my dreams, when I finally got the chance to stand up to him and tell him exactly what he did to me, I always sounded strong and fierce. Unfortunately, that is not my reality.
“Is that how you greet an old lover?” he teases, his tone light, and to anyone who doesn’t know him, that would be the end of it. However, I can see in his eyes that he is disapproving of my greeting, that he was expecting more from me. This is typical Jake, he always expects everyone to treat him as though he’s the most important person in the room, and the fact I denied him his grand entrance will have annoyed him to no end.
Honestly, I wish I could say that I’d planned it that way, but I’m acting out of shock. If I was stronger, I would march up to him and demand he leave. The Holly and Ivy Bakery is my safe place, and he’s trespassing on that. He’s not welcome here. All of the feelings he ingrained into me are tearing me apart on the inside: doubt, fear, insecurity, not trusting in myself, making me rely on him. He would use insults veiled as compliments, striking exactly where he intended, until I turned into a wisp of the person I once was. In fact, hadn’t realised until now how much he had changed me, how much I’ve grown since he left. The guys have done that, to help me see who I really am by showing me how they see me.
Why, then, am I standing back here, shaking and not taking action?
Sue, one of my bakers, steps forward and crosses her arms over her chest. “I think you should leave. We don’t serve the likes of you.”
Jake looks as shocked as I feel, going so far as to step back from the counter step. Sue is one of the kindest people you will ever meet, and for her to step forward and kick him out just goes to show how loyal she is to me. Not to mention how disgusted she is with him after the way he treated me.
Glancing around at the other bakers, I see them nodding their agreement too, moving to the front of the store, their bodies creating a wall between Jake and myself.
My heart aches. I’ve grown up with most of these people, and I knew that they love me, but seeing a demonstration of that feeling is going to bring me to tears. Slowly, I release the dough I’m still clutching hands, and wipe the flour from them. I take a deep breath and steady myself, in preparation for what I’m about to do next.
Jake huffs loudly in the background, not bothering to hide his annoyance any longer. “Is that how you let your staff treat your customers?”
I’m not sure how to answer. Well, that’s not true, but what I want to say isn’t very dignified. While swearing at him and hurling insults might be satisfying, I want to know that I behaved with integrity throughout.
Hayleigh, one of my other bakers, however, has other plans in mind. “Only for the ones that cause trouble. When you mess with Holly, you mess with us,” she quips, baring her teeth in what I’m sure is supposed to look menacing. It doesn’t quite come off that way given she’s five foot high and looks like a grandmother. I’ve seen her in a fight though, and my money would be on her. “Besides,” she continues, “you’re not a customer anyway, asswipe, so it doesn’t matter.”
While Sue’s comment was out of character, this is exactly the sort of thing you might expect from Hayleigh. I can’t hold back my snort of amusement, breaking through the wall of dread that began to be rebuilt inside me at Jake’s appearance. It’s a brief flash of light in the darkness of my mind, and I cling to it, letting it lead me to the surface. A chorus of agreement from the other staff bolster me, giving me strength. I didn’t notice before but a few of my regular customers, including Celia Lemond, have also stood up and are agreeing with my staff, arms crossed over their chests in defiance as they glare at my ex-boyfriend.
There’s a pinch in my throat as it becomes tight with emotion and my eyes sting as tears begin to well there. I’ve always beenfriendly with them, and I like to think that I’m a good boss, but seeing them getting protective of me really makes it hit home. Hinton Grove has many faults, and I know I moan about the fact that gossip travels fast in the small town, yet it’s created this bond between people that would be impossible in the big city. They’re like extended family, always around, and I’ve never really thought of it like this before. Their support means more to me than they will ever know.
I feel stronger now I know these people are willing to stand behind me, and I know it’s time to face Jake once and for all. Closing my eyes for the briefest second, I tell all other thoughts to leave my mind so I can focus. I’m ready. My shoulders back and keeping my chin high, I walk towards the counter. Reaching the protective wall of bakers, I place my hand on Sue’s shoulder, sharing a look of understanding. She seemed reluctant to move, her eyes flicking across my face, and I don’t know what she sees there, but it seems to reassure her and she steps aside.
For the first time since he left, I come face to face with Jake.
His face is pinched and I can see the rage dancing in his eyes. Disrespect is one of the things he hates the most, and from his expression that’s exactly how he’s feeling right now. This wasn’t how he was expecting this reunion to go down. The prodigal son’s return is not a welcome one.
Hands bracing on the countertop before him, he leans forward in an effort to get a moment of privacy. The movement is exaggerated, and I think he’s trying to hint that everybody needs to back off and leave us alone. If that really is what he’s hoping for, he’s going to be sorely disappointed.
“Holly, I came here to see you. Can we go for a walk?” Eyeing the room, he pointedly nods his head towards our audience.
Seriously? After everything, he wants me to go for a walk with him so we can ‘talk’. I have absolutely nothing I want to say to him, and I don’t want to hear what he has to say. I let mysurprise at his gall show on my face. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”
Slowly, a flirty smile pulls across his lips. “Oh, come on, it will be just like old times.”
That’s exactly what I’m worried about. During our relationship I realised how toxic it had become, and it was only with some distance that I could see how much it changed me. ‘Old times’ are not something I want to return to. I should have just shut him down straight away, have said no and walked out of the bakery. Although I turned him down, he’s decided that there was room within my answer for him to try to change my mind.
“Come on, Holly. I travelled a really long way, just to see you. It would be a shame if you turned me away now. I just want to talk.”
He’s trying to guilt me into agreeing, and it’s working. I’m so angry at myself for allowing him to weasel his way into my mind. After all this time, he shouldn’t still have this control over me. It’s not that I still love him, or that I have any warm feelings towards him at all. Over the years he was so good at manipulating me into thinking that he was the only thing I ever needed in my life. We all know what happened when he left. Now I have the love of two men, and whatever the hell Elliot is to me, yet Jake is able to awaken those frightened and insecure thoughts in moments.
No, I’m not the same girl I was then. I’m not going to let him manipulate me now. Iwillgo with him, but it will be on my terms, and because I have something to say.
“Fine,” I agree sharply, “but we’re not leaving the marketplace.”