BEAR
Oh shit, this could get messy.
When I walked out of the gym to see what the commotion was, I instantly knew something was up between the two of them. Clay looks as though he’s about to explode, while Holly is standing there with a distressed expression. Instinctively, I made my way over. Now I’m wishing I’d chosen a different time to pop by.
Clay is in one of his moods, his eyes locked on Holly.
He’s completely smitten; he just won’t admit it. I’ve only ever seen him like this once and that was with his sweetheart. Since that ended disastrously, I’ve only seen him have casual flings with other women, never emotionally investing. I’m happy he’s found someone who lights him up again; I wasn’t sure it was possible. However, I just wish it wasn’t with Holly.
Normally, if Clay was interested, I would back off – he needs that connection with someone. This is no normal situation, though, and Holly is no normal girl.
I know it is ridiculous, but when I look at her, I can see our life planned out in the future. I’ve never believed in fate or soulmates, but now I’ve found her, I’m changing my mind. Every time I close my eyes, images of the two of us flash in my mind. Ofus walking through the park, Holly’s belly swollen with our child, us getting old together. A dream I never thought might come true, and now it’s here, just within reach. It just so turns out that Clay has the same dream.
I’ve always been protective of Clayton, even more so after the mess his ex made of him. Holly changes him, brings him out of his shell and shows a piece of the old Clay I wasn’t sure still existed. Could I walk away so he could be happy? The answer comes to me fairly quickly, bringing with it a sharp ache in my chest. Yes, if that is what they both wanted, I would walk away. It would destroy me, but I would.
However, there is Holly’s opinion to take into consideration here. She looks at me with so much warmth that I know she shares my feelings. Even now, in this awkward situation, I can feel her affection for me and see it in the way she looks up at me.
“Ah, brother. Just in time,” Clay drawls, sarcasm dripping from his words. “Our dear Holly is just choosing between us.”
It takes me a moment to absorb his words. I can’t have heard him right. “What’s going on here?” I ask, looking between the two of them and the tense way they are both standing. Clay’s words are ringing in my ears but I continue trying to ignore them. This is getting more and more difficult to do that as something is clearly wrong. Holly actually looks on the verge of tears, but I doubt she will let us see them. She’s too strong and stubborn for that. Still, my protective instincts are on alert and instantly I move towards her, reaching out and placing a hand on her arm. “Holly, are you okay?”
I see Clay stiffen from the corner of my eye and realise I’ve made a mistake. Before I can correct it, Clay is at my side, the three of us now standing in a triangle as we look between each other.
“Do you think I would hurt her?” Anger and disbelief radiate from him as he stares me down.
Oh shit, that’s where his mind has gone with this? He’s taken my concern for Holly and turned it into an accusation, believing that I think he would hurt her. I need to calm this down before it becomes out of control.
“No, of course not!” My exclamation is underlined with my own sense of disbelief that he would even think that of me, but that is not what’s important right now. Pushing that aside, I gesture towards Holly, who’s watching on with wide eyes, her lower lip clenched between her teeth.
“Look at her, brother.” Placing my hand on his shoulder, I squeeze in a sign of support. If he thinks I’m blaming him, then it will only make things worse. “You are shouting in the streets and she’s obviously upset.”
Clay’s gaze snaps immediately to Holly, taking in her red cheeks and bright eyes, noticing all of the signs of stress that I did just a moment ago. Sometimes he gets so caught up in his emotions that he can’t see what’s going on for other people. I don’t blame him – it’s part of his coping mechanism – but right now Holly is hurting and we need to do something about it. Clay’s expression shifts to one of concern, and he reaches out to brush her cheek with his thumb, his anger momentarily forgotten.
A cool breeze whips through the town square and I don’t miss the shiver that wracks Holly’s body as she wraps her arms around her middle. She looks the pinnacle of uncomfortable, which is only made worse by the locals who have stopped to watch the commotion. This is a small town, and as the guys and I recently discovered, gossip travelsfasthere. We need to move this inside so we can get to the bottom of this, especially as my gut is telling me things are about to become complicated.
I gesture towards the gym, lowering my voice. “Let’s take this inside where we can talk in private.”
Clay finally pulls his eyes from Holly and glances around us, realising that others are watching. He’s been so absorbed in Holly that he hasn’t even realised that they were attracting attention. Huffing out a breath, he nods, and together we all walk over to the gym.
Holly looks miserable, her arms still wrapped around her waist and her head lowered as she steps into the gym, as though she’s walking to her execution. Whatever happened between them must be serious to have caused this much damage.
Neither of them say anything as we move further into the main space of the gym. There’s no equipment in here yet, so it’s a clear, empty room with only a long desk against the far wall. The front of the gym is made up of a wall of windows, all of which are covered to offer us some privacy while we finish the renovations. Shutting the door behind me, I watch Holly shift her weight awkwardly from one foot to the other under the heaviness of Clay’s stare.
“I thought you wanted to be with me.” Clay’s voice finally cuts through the quiet, his accusation sharp and eyes narrowed. He may sound angry, but I know him, and I know that this is another of his survival methods. Really, he is terrified about his feelings and the fact that he let Holly see that part of him – a part that he now thinks she is rejecting.
“I do want to be with you!” Holly insists, surging forward and placing a hand on his arm, seeming desperate to repair their connection. She waits for him to meet her gaze. “But I also want to be with him.” Her voice has quietened as if to soften the blow, but there is no questioning the surety of her decision.
She wants to be with me.My heart had sunk when she confirmed that she wanted to be with Clay. It’s probably selfish, as I should want them to be happy together, yet knowing she has feelings for me has only bolstered my own feelings.
“I am so mixed up, and I don’t know what to do. I know it’s selfish and wrong, but right now, I can’t choose between you.” Her agony over the situation is palpable as she looks between us. “My feelings for the both of you are so intense that it terrifies me. You make me feel so good in your own ways, and I was hoping my dates with you would help me decide who I felt the strongest connection to.” She laughs weakly, not a single trance of humour written across her beautiful face. Slowly, she shakes her head.
The gesture makes me frown, something unsettling in my gut. She looks like she’s giving up.
“I thought that…” trailing off, she gets lost in a memory, her eyes hazy. Blinking, she comes back to and sighs, lips pulled into a sad smile. “Perhaps I’m just not ready after all.”
I don’t like the way this conversation is turning and a tightness settles across my chest. The fact she has this deep connection with me should be filling me with joy, but as each second passes, it feels more like she’s saying goodbye.
“Holly, there is nothing selfish about you,” I quickly reassure her, meaning every word. She is the least selfish person I know, and I hate knowing that we are causing her to believe that about herself. “We can take this slow. Nothing has to be decided today.”