Years ago I had trained to be a pâtisserie chef, but I cancelled my opportunity to fly to Paris and learn from the masters when Jake convinced me to stay. He was doing well in his training and a band had picked him up. This was supposed to be his big break, and as such, we would travel the world together. Branded as a musical genius, he’s able to play five different instruments and had been working towards a record deal for years. Guitar and piano are the ones he’s most gifted with and he soon caught the eye of a talent scout. He was my whole life, so of course I turned down my training in Paris to be here with him.
Only, that’s not how it played out and now I’m here in Hampton Grove, alone, and he’s… somewhere, living his whole new life without me.
“Stop thinking about him,” Ash orders, releasing me from her hug and turning me to face her. “This was the best thing that ever happened to you. He was dragging you down. If he had asked you, you would have gone with him and that would’ve been your biggest mistake.”
Ashley has a sixth sense about these things and somehow knows when I’m sinking into my hole of misery. Raising her brow, she challenges me to object, to tell her she’s wrong. I should know by now that this is a pointless exercise, she’s always right, but I’m hurting and need this.
“How? I could have found work in London.” Cringing as I speak, I already know her response. Realistically I know it would’ve been a bad thing to go with him. At the end of the day, that wasn’t a problem, though, as he didn’t even ask me to.
“Hol, you hate big cities. Plus, you’d have to sell the bakery. That would kill you.” Gesturing wildly, she starts to pace the kitchen, riling herself up. “That bastard drained everything from you. If he had asked, you would end up following the band around like a puppy and lose everything about you that makes you amazing.” Growling and balling her hands into fists she faces me again. “I know it doesn’t feel like it now, Hol, but this is a good thing. Look how successful the bakery is. You don’t need him.”
She’s right. This bakery has been in my family’s possession for decades. The Holly and Ivy Bakery now belongs to myself and my sister. While Ivy, my older sister, doesn’t have much to do with the business other than being a partner, I put my whole heart and soul into it. Long shifts and hard work don’t both me, and with each cake or loaf of bread I create, I know that this is where I’m supposed to be.
Jake was always jealous of the time I put into the bakery, but it was the one thing I wouldn’t let him take from me. Over time he managed to dictate what I did, wore and ate, but my bakery always stayed my main priority.
My eyes sting at her words and I bite down hard on my lip to stop the tears falling. I’ve shed enough tears. It’s time to toughen up, even if it feels like my heart is falling apart at the seams.
“Right, then,” I clap my hands together, clearing my throat. “What are we going to do about this cake?”
THREE
HOLLY
Legs stretched out before me on the footstool with my fluffy slippers in pride of place, I snuggle down into the soft oversized cushions on the couch. Ashley is beside me in her cat-print pyjamas, and the remainder of the failed cake sits on the coffee table between us.
Like many things in the world, it’s a mess on the outside, but unlike my life, inside, it’s perfect. Well, it’s not exactly what I had planned when I was combining recipes, and we had to cut around the dense, almost uncooked parts in the centre. Even so, the rest of it tastes like a dream.
Ashley and I always used to spend a lot of time together, but ever since I’ve been on my own, she spends a lot more time with me here in my flat above the bakery. She says it’s because she didn’t like my ex so she kept away, and in part I know that’s true. However, I know she worries about me and this way she’s able to keep an eye on me.
We’re watching some drama on the TV, but I’m not really paying attention so I don’t have a clue what’s actually happening. Popping another bit of cake into my mouth, I hum with happiness. Below us, the bakery is closed to the public, but the staff will still be busy baking for the following day. The soundof metal pans and the gentle hum of chatter reach us through the floorboards.
When I first moved into the flat above the shop, it took me ages to adapt to the sounds below me. The life of a baker involves lots of late nights and early starts, so I would be woken by the sound of the ovens being fired up. However, now those sounds are so normal to me that they’re like a lullaby. The Holly and Ivy Bakery is the corner building in a row of shops on the main street of Hinton Grove, so the hustle and bustle of the other businesses and traffic outside the windows are all part of living above the bakery. However, I love it and wouldn’t change any part of it.
“Did you hear that Mr Renolds is selling up?” I ask, referring to my neighbour in the shop next door. His DIY store has been around for decades, remaining in his family for generations. However, after his son died tragically in a car accident, there is no one left for him to pass his business onto. Now, there are too many memories for him here, so he’s retiring and moving elsewhere to start afresh.
“Yes.” She pauses for dramatic flair. “Did you know he found a buyer?”
This gets my attention. Jerking up, I twist around to face her. “No. What do you know?” I demand, pleased that there’s some gossip that doesn’t involve me for once.
Ashley grins, her pleasure at knowing something before me lighting her eyes. “Apparently a group of young men from the city are buying the business. Some hotshots, apparently. It’s causing a stir amongst the locals.”
Yeah, I can only imagine. Hinton Grove is a small town and news travels quickly. The fact that city folk are moving here and taking over an old family business is going to make waves. The store a small, local shop; it’s one of those treasure troves that sells everything. Once it’s taken over by some business mogul, they’re bound to change it. Will it even remain as a DIY store, orwill they try to turn it into one of those fancy coffee bars where it costs you £8 for a coffee?
Brows raised, I nurse my mug in my hands. “How is it you knew this before me when the store is right next door to my bakery?”
“Ah,” she grins, looking smug as she takes a sip of her hot chocolate. “I have all the connections; you just work all the time.” This seems to trigger a thought and she shifts forward, attention locked onto me. “Speaking of which, when are you going to start dating?”
My groan is long and loud, my head dropping back onto the sofa behind me. This isn’t the first time she’s badgered me about this, and I don’t have the energy to fight her on it. Thinking about my ex hurts. Thinking about the future that was taken from me hurts. It is a constant effort for me to get up each morning and pretend to be a functioning adult; the last thing I want to do is go out on a date.
“You can’t be a hermit and pine over him forever.” Ashley continues, shaking my shoulder to get my attention. “It’s not good for you, and he’s not coming back.”
He’s not, I know that. Even if he did come back and beg me to be with him, I have enough self-respect not to cave. He shattered me when he left and I’m still learning how to put myself back together again. I miss him and the future I’d imagined for us together, and I’m allowed to mourn that and despise him for what he’s done at the same time, without wanting to take him back. If only I could toughen up on the inside and patch myself back together a little quicker, that would be great.
“I thought he was my forever, Ash.” Lifting my head from the back of the sofa, I meet her gaze. “It’s not easy to just get over that hurt.”
“I know, babe.” Her voice is soft now, comforting as she puts down her drink and pulls me in for a hug. “I’m not criticisingyou, but you’re stuck in this rut he dug for you.” Stroking my back, she rests her cheek on the top of my head. “I’m not saying that you have to find your soulmate. I’m simply suggesting that you come out and have a few drinks, flirt a little and start to live your life again.”
Her familiar jasmine perfume surrounds me as I lean into her hug, needing the comfort more than I care to admit. One of the things I love about Ashley is that she knows when I need her without me having to say anything.