“It was . . . light.”
“Oh, boy. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but have you heard of implantation bleeding?”
“No,” I said. I tried to keep my breathing even. “But I don’t like how it sounds.”
“You know, we should evaluate all options here.”
“I’m not pregnant,” I said firmly as I took a step back. “There are so many ways I shouldn’t be pregnant.”
“Precum can still get you pregnant, you know. It’s always a risk when getting dicked down without a condom.”
I made a sound that was a cross between a whimper and a scream. Then I shook my head. “No way. I’m not pregnant. I can’t be.”
“A test would confirm or deny.”
“I don’t have one because I never—” I ran my hand through my curls, not even caring if I messed them up. “I can’t even buy one because people will know!”
“I’ll buy it,” she said gently. “I’m used to it. I take them all the time.”
“Wha—why do you take them all the time?”
“Past trauma? Being a ho? There’re many reasons.” She shrugged as if it were nothing. “The point is, lock the door, crash out, and I’ll be back.”
I slowly nodded, trying to catch my breath.
“You’re not going to Food ‘n’ Things, right?” Our local shop was run by only one man, and he knew us all.
“Of course not. What, do you think I’m a rookie? I’ll go to the Walmart in the town over. No one’ll know. And if they do, this is on-brand for me.”
But it wasn’t on-brandfor me.
And that was the whole problem.
Jade was silent as we waited for the results. So far, it had been three minutes, and those three minutes were the longest of my life.
Even though I didn’t have an answer, I couldn’t help but wonder what life would be like with a baby. I’d always wanted kids, but I wanted them with a partner that I was in love with who’d make the decision with me to have a family together. The idea of tiny little feet running on my hardwood floors was always in my future, and even now I wanted it.
But I wasn’t sure if I wanted it like this.
And what was worse, I didn’t have my life together enough. There was no way I could have a baby.
The timer went off and both of us grabbed at the test. Jade got it first and flipped it over. In the seconds she stared at it, it felt like my life was at a tipping point. If there were two lines,everythingwould be changing.
“It’s nothing, right?” I asked, still clinging to the hope that things were still going to be normal. “I don’t know why we did this. Let’s just throw it away and?—”
“That is the most positive test I’ve ever seen, Grace.”
I froze for all of one second before I clambered to get the test in my own hands.Twopink lines stared at me.
I could only stare back. The lineglowed. I was pregnant. Very pregnant.
And it was Dean’s.
My ears rang. I could’ve passed out.
What had I done?Whyhad I said yes to that second time? Why had I said yes at all? I should have known better. Hell, Ihad.
I’d stepped out of line, and this was what I got.