“Brought a guest this time?” the nurse asked as she looked me up and down.
“Yep. He’ll be here a lot.”
“Hi, I’m April. Are you the dad?”
“Yeah,” I replied. “I’m the dad.”
It felt monumental to say that. It was a mere fact that I was the baby’s father, but after what Grace had thought of me when she’d first found out, I’d worked hard to make sure she knew I was more than a sperm donor.
I’d done that, but I hadn’t given myself credit for it.
“Well, it’s great to meet you. I’ll be taking you back for the ultrasound.”
“We’re getting started already?” I asked.
“We try to move as quickly as possible,” April said, waving for us to follow her. We went into a dark room and Grace laid on the table. April got the machine started before she looked for something and sighed.
“Forgot the gel,” she said. “Be right back.”
She was gone before either of us could say anything.
“Feeling okay?” I asked.
“No,” Grace muttered. “But I’ll feel better once this starts. I’m just worried I’ll get bad news again.”
“Everything’s been normal.”
“I know. But ever since I was diagnosed with PCOS, it feels like my body wants things to go wrong. Out of everything I’ve been through, this is almost easy. Feels like the second shoe’s gonna drop any moment now.”
“Do I need to remind you that you were almost hospitalized because you were throwing up and the bad results from the first glucose test? It’s notall been easy.”
“Okay, you have me there, but considering how bad my PCOS used to be, this is still easy. Trust me.”
Without thinking about it, I grabbed her hand. “The past doesn’t affect the future. You may have PCOS, but as far as we know, things are developing normally. We’re not completely out of the woods for things going wrong, but your body is doing something monumental here. Even if it’s had issues in the past, it doesn’t change how things are going now.”
Grace squeezed my hand. “How do you always know what I need to hear?”
“I watch, I listen, and I want to be here for you.”
She looked at me, and I swore that her eyes were glistening. She opened her mouth to say something else, but we were interrupted when April came back into the room.
“Sorry about that. I forgot to replace the bottle of gel. We can start now.”
I spent a second trying to get back my bearings. Talking to Grace so openly had me teetering on the edge of something massive. But I should have known I would be hit once more when the ultrasound started.
My breath was knocked out of my body when I saw my baby flash on the screen. First, the tech checked their heartbeat, and it was a stark reminder that this wasreal.This was happening.
I was gonna be a dad.
I was terrified. But I was alsosoexcited.
The tech showed us a profile of their face. Ten fingers and ten toes. I saw all of it.
We’d made that baby. Grace and me. They were ours.
“I can print some of these out for you,” April said. “Do Mom and Dad both want one?”
I loved the sound of being referred to as a dad.