It would have to be when Dean wasn’t here, and he’d been staying more than I expected. I didn’t mind it, but I also knew Icouldn’t give Brooke’s room out either. I’d also have to make my third bedroom a nursery eventually.
“I might take you up on that. Have you offered Dean the same thing? I bet he would save money on a hotel.”
“Yes, I did.”
“Don’t take it personally that he turned you down. He’s a little finicky about attachment, but?—”
“He didn’t. Turn me down, I mean.”
But Virginia seemed so sure, and I was already reading between the lines. Had he already stepped out of his usual for me?
Werethings different?
“Really?” She sounded like she’d won the lottery. “This is great! Maybe he—” She stopped herself. “How has it been?”
I knew when someone was fishing for information. “He’s a very good guest.”
“Interesting.”
“Is ... there anything else youwantto happen?”
“Boy, do I.” She laughed. “I’ve been waiting for years for him to settle down, but he never wants to. Please tell me that streak’s been broken.”
I wished I could tell her that. I hated to be the one to break her hope. “Unfortunately not. I’m sorry, Virginia.”
She let out a long sigh. “I suppose that’s in character for him.”
“Maybe it’s for the best. He obviously enjoys his fun.”
“He wasn’t always like this, you know. Once upon a time, he was a little romantic! Can you believe that?”
“It’s ... hard to.” And it was. I wondered what I would have thought of that version of him. I wondered where he went. I had the right to pry, and I couldn’t help my curiosity. “When was he like that?”
“Back in high school. About a decade ago now. I don’tremember all the details, but he came home one day and told me he’d never date again. I thought he would give up eventually, but he’s stubborn. And I suppose there are a lot of women his age who don’t mind simply getting what they want, right?”
I winced. I was one of those women. It had been good. Amazing, even. But now I was tied to him and wanting more.
“Right. It’s about the fun.”
“He’s not the kind of guy to only care about the fun, which is what I’ve never understood. Maybe I was just wanting grandkids. And now I have one on the way! You’re gonna be a great mom, Grace.”
I wanted to ask her to tell me more about Dean so I could figure out what had happened. But I wasn’t sure that was a good idea. I didn’t need to pry into his life.
“Thank you, Virginia. And I bet you’ll be an amazing grandma too.”
We talked for a good hour about how the pregnancy was going and how it compared to hers. I told her how I was still struggling with hairs growing in places I didn’t want them to, and she was thrilled to find another woman who’d gone through the same thing.
Despite my downtrodden mood about Dean, it was nice to talk to someone else and get my mind off of it.
But the second I said my goodbyes and hung up the phone, all the thoughts flooded back.
I was at an impasse, unsure of whether to stuff my feelings in a box or try to see if Dean could ever feel the way I did.
Whether I pulled back, jumped in, or did nothing, it all ended the same way.
And I was terrified.
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