It feels like a confession. Like I’m in a booth, waiting for my judgment, like I’ve committed some mortal sin he won’t be able to forgive.
And when I open my eyes, I swear he’s looking into my soul.
“I’ve been falling in love with you, against my own will, every single time I’m near you, Weston,” he says.
He reaches up to push a lock of my hair away from my forehead.
And I feel like I was plunging down to Earth thinking I didn’t have a parachute, but now, he’s just come to catch me with his own.
My body tingles all over.
“Then I guess we’re both out of our minds,” I say.
“We are.”
He stands up gracefully and holds out his hand to help me up, and I’m struck by how easy it is for him now. His legs have almost fully healed. The outside has completely thawed into a vibrant spring.
And I feel new, too.
Like I’m just about to begin.
I reach up and stand next to him, smiling like an idiot.
“I love you,” I say simply.
“I love you, too,” he tells me before leaning forward to give my lower lip a little bite. “Now come shower off with me and let’s gosmokethe rest of those guys in poker.”
Even as we shower, I can’t keep my hands off of him.
He washes me, and I wash him, and when we finally do go downstairs, we’re completely and fully allowed to be ourselves.
I don’t feel scared of new things. Not anymore.
I don’t feel a pang of envy when I see Ollie with Niko, or even Rayne with Hunter.
Seeing everyone down here feels better than anything I’ve ever had before. A world of my own. Agency and independence,withSev instead of on my own.
A reckless love that’s all my own.
Exactly how I fucking like it.
Epilogue
SEVAN, ONE MONTH LATER
Caps and gowns fill the football field as I walk out, listening to the Crimson College band playing Pomp and Circumstance.
We’re here to watch the seniors graduate. It’s still late spring but the heat of the sun radiates down over the campus. I find Weston’s hand behind me and grab it, keeping him close.
“Look at all of them down there, all fancy in their robes,” I tell Wes.
“It’s so cool. I’m glad I don’t have to leave yet, but I’m happy for them.”
I’m not very close with any of the students who are graduating, and luckily I’ll be here another year along with most of the other guys Wes and I hang out with. We make our way into the little white chairs laid out in rows in front of the stage. Wes sits at the far end of one row and Noah sits on the other side of me.
Wes and I have been hanging with Noah a lot over the past few weeks.
His nose is healing fast, and the bruises are mostly gone. Now he’s only in a couple small bandages for a little while longer.