The shattered panic inside me rises again, like broken glass threatening to rip apart my insides.
“Tell me.”
“He’s fucking crazy, Niko. Your ex broke into my room and left things here.Messagesfor you, I think? Some messages for Oliver, too, I think. Are you still at the formal?”
A chaotic storm is circling around me, like I’m in the eye of a hurricane and things are only going to get worse.
I look at Oliver and I have an overwhelming urge to pull him into some secret world. A place where my past won’t touch him. Somewhere we can be together and I won’t have to face this version of my reality with him.
I still need to explain what happened.
About the day I nearly died, and everything spiraled in around me.
I would never have known you, Ollie,I think.Not like I do now.
I would have died and never had the chance to know how worthy of love someone can be.
Jesus.
The last remnants of the molly in me are crossing the wires in my mind.
Oliver doesn’t want things like that. I thought I didn’t, either.
The only thing keeping me from running after Callum and pounding his skull into the pavement is that same drug, though.
I have to fix all of this.
Later, when my brain isn’t flooded with misplaced desire.
I can’t take it any longer.
“Don’t touch anything, Sev.Fuck. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
16
Oliver
Oliver, looking at Niko’s Instagram profile, two months ago
Something always seemed off about Callum.
The silver-haired guy in Niko’s pictures always seemed like he wasn’t fully there.
Like even when he smiled, there was a dead-eyed stare above it.
A lifelessness.
I swore Niko deserved better.
He always has.
Niko doesn’t letme go for the entire walk over to the Double Daggers house.
He doesn’t talk to me, either, but there’s no time.
What happened to you?
My chest feels hollow when I try to pull the disparate pieces together. Did Niko get hurt? On purpose?