She hadn’t had to revert to this level of reassurancefor a long, long time, and if she were being completely honest, she wasn’t sure why she’d spiraled so quickly.
“Caroline?”
She opened her eyes, not sure where she was. Then the familiar scent of yeast and sugar met her nose, and she remembered.
The bakery. Coffee and croissant. Working on a slow afternoon.
A good friend with pure concern in her eyes. “Are you okay?”
“I…think so.”
“You kind of moaned.” Ivy glanced down at her hands. “You’re gripping your phone really hard. I thought maybe you were having a seizure.”
Caroline shook her head, trying to find a logical explanation that didn’t make her sound crazy. Then she remembered that her actions testified of her emotional and mental scars—and Ivy had just seen one burst wide open and start bleeding again.
Her phone buzzed, drawing her attention again.
Dawson:Like, let’s say we fall in love. Go somewhere amazing this summer—that’s my next question—and we want to get married. Can I propose before the twelve months and we get married after it? Or is it a strict no-diamond policy until all twelve months have passed?
Dawson again:Follow-up to the follow-up: If you could go anywhere on a road trip, where would you go?
With that last text, her vision cleared. Her mindcentered, and Caroline saw the sweet, caring, gentle side of Dawson that truly epitomized him. Sure, he was gruff on the outside. No, he didn’t want anyone in his barn space. True, he kept things close to the vest until he was ready to share them.
All those things made him, him, though, and Caroline liked all the pieces of him he’d shown her so far. And she knew without a doubt that if she said she wanted to go on a road trip to Hawaii, he’d find a way to pave the Pacific Ocean.
I’ll have to think about the road trip, she sent him quickly.And we need to talk about what just happened when I read your other texts, but I don’t want to do it with letters.
I’m meeting with Ward tonight, Dawson reminded her.I can swing by and get you about eight, and we can grab doughnuts from that place next to the fountain. A quick dessert date. Yeah?
Yeah, she sent back.I still want the walking tour of Three Rivers one day.
You’re so demanding, he sent back, complete with several smiling emojis. She mimicked them, and Ivy said, “Oh, so you’re falling for him already.”
Caroline put down her phone, her date set up. “Maybe,” she acknowledged. “And I need help with this.”
“You do?” Ivy set down her pen, and they wereapparently going to have a chatty-working afternoon. “Do tell.”
Caroline took a deep breath. “Okay, you know how I was married before?” She waited for Ivy to nod. “Well, I actually made a pact with myself that I’d never date and get married again. So, this is obviously all blowing up in my face, and well, I think I just had a little panic attack when Dawson texted me with the words,marriage, proposal, andengagement.”
She put her head in her hands, a wail starting in her stomach and easing its way up her throat, where it would have to come out. “That’s bad, right?” She looked at Ivy, hoping her friend would reassure her that it was normal to panic about these types of things.
Ivy looked like a scared jackrabbit herself, a feeling currently stomping across Caroline’s lungs. “I mean, I feel like I’m about to pass out at the thought of getting married,” she said. “And I’ve been dating Colt for ten months. So I’m the wrong person to ask.”
Caroline had already broken her no-dating rule. Marriage was way down the line. Way down. Twelve months, at least.
Perhaps only ten, a tiny voice whispered, and Caroline squashed it quickly. “I just need to talk to Dawson,” she said. “That’s all.”
“I’m sorry,” Ivy said, wearing her concern in her voice. “I’m of no help to you on this.” She coveredCaroline’s hand with hers. “I’m sorry your first marriage was so bad you don’t want to try again.”
“Try again,” Caroline murmured. That was all she needed to do. Try again, this time in a different place, at a different time, with a different man. Heck, she was a different person.
Instant calmness came over her, and Caroline pressed her eyes closed and said, “Thank you, Lord, for this reassurance.” It felt like the Savior himself had draped her in a blanket straight from the warmest source of heavenly light. She opened her eyes and looked at Ivy. “I just need to be brave for long enough to get the first sentence out.”
She’d done it before, with a far harsher man and far worse consequences.This is Dawson, she told herself again.And he’s not Joe.
She didn’t want to lose her cowboy in shining armor, not without giving herself the time and space she needed—theyneeded—to come together. And if there was one thing she’d learned as she’d been reborn from the ashes of her marriage, it was that some rulesshouldbe broken.
Caroline just hadn’t realized she’d made any of that kind for herself.