Thisisn’tjust complicated.
This isEthan.
The person who hasalwayshad my back.My best friend since childhood.The guy who has been more of a brother to me than anyone else in my life.
And I’m standing here, gut-deep inwhatever the fuck this iswith hislittle sister.
I see flashes of her as a kid—hovering at the edges of our games, tagging along when she wasn’t supposed to, scowling when we teased her for it.
Shit, maybe he wouldn’t want me anywhere near her.Not inthatway.
Hell, if he knew how I’ve been thinking about Anna, the things I’ve done—he’dkillme.
And maybe he should.
Because I alreadyhurther once.Before this wasanything, before I even understood what she meant to me.I screwed it all up.
And now I wantmore?
Guilt coils tight in my stomach, warring with the part of me that doesn’t care.The part that still wants to run straight to her and make her admit she feels this, too.
“I agree.She’d really love your performance, Joel.There’s so much heart to it.”Tessa nudges Ethan, but locks her bright blue eyes on me.“She still loves music.I know she pretends she doesn’t, but it’sstill there.”
My fingers tighten around my glass.
I know.Isawit.Ifeltit.
“You know, I can’t say Anna’s brain has ever made sense to me, but for what it’s worth, I don’t even think she’s mad at you.She’s just afraid to admit she isn’t,” Ethan says, shaking his head like he didn’t just say something that totally snaps my insides.
I exhale hard, setting my glass down too fast.
He has no idea what I did to her.No idea why she was so pissed.
“I gotta go.”
Ethan looks startled.“What?”
“I just—” I shake my head.“Thanks for coming.I’ll see you guys later.”
I don’t wait for their response.I need air.I need tothink.
I need to get to her.
And maybe that should scare me more than it does.
* * *
The ride home is a blur of streetlights and static.The uber took way too long to arrive and I’m fucking spinning out.
Ethan’s words keep looping in my head, burrowing under my skin.
I miss when we all got along.
She’s just afraid to admit she isn’t mad at you.
I tap out the rhythm to our song on my knees, counting down the seconds until we pull into her driveway.
His words shouldn’t mess with me as much as they are.But fuck if they aren’t setting something loose in my chest— something restless, something desperate to get through to her.Even if that means dealing with Ethan in the aftermath.I’ve gotta know?—