But the truth?I was only saving myself.
I knew it the second I saw her the next day—the way shedidn’tlook at me, the way shedidn’tsay anything, the way something in her had gone cold.
And I knew it last night, when she walked out of Nocté—when she looked at me like I was something that had happened to her, not someone she used to trust.
And now?
Now I can’t live with it.
And I don’t know why.
Igot what I wantedback then.
I wanted her hate.I just never thought she’d stop writing.
But that’s exactly what she did.
And the worst part?
I think I knew she would.
Did I destroy her to keep from wanting her?
Did I steal that part of her—so I wouldn’t have to watch her give it to someone else?
If I did, I’m an asshole.
And now?There’s nothing left but ashes.And I have to live in the wreckage.
CHAPTER11
Anna
The smell of coffee is supposed to be something nice to wake up to.
But not when you live alone.
My brain takes a second to boot up, caught in the sluggish limbo between sleep and reality, but as soon as I hear the low hum of someone singing—ugh, Joel—I’m officially done with this morning and I haven’t even gotten out of bed.
I crack one eye open, willing myself to be wrong.
But no.
Somewhere on the other side of my bedroom door, I catch the sound of a cabinet closing, then the distinct clink of pans being placed on my stovetop.
What.The.Hell.
I groan, shoving the blankets off and rolling out of bed.I don’t even bother checking the mirror—I already know I look like I’ve lost a fight with my pillow, and honestly?That’s the energy I’m bringing into today.
Fuck it.
Joel should not be in my kitchen.He should not be existing in my space like some kind of domestic rock god, humming to himself like he has some sort of right to my kitchen.
Did he even buy his own food?Because if that man so much as touched my last pack of kimchi noodles, I’m committing a crime.
I need coffee.And I need him to not be here.
Flinging open my dresser, I grab the first hoodie I can find and pull it over my sleep shirt, already deciding I’m heading straight toBean There, Done That.If I have to be awake and conscious enough to deal with Price, I need massive amounts of caffeine for my suffering.Maybe I’ll even catch Carlie there because I need tovent.