Something inside my chest cracks and I let out an almost sob.Not because I don’t want this—but because I can’t believe I actuallydo.Because we’re really here and I can’t even remember why I didn’t want this.
He must sense it because the moment shifts.Slows.
I feel it in the way his lips soften against mine, in the way his fingertips trace lazy circles along my spine.This isn’t just about want or lust or sex for either of us.
It’s the weight of everyalmost.Every unspoken word.Every moment we spent pretending this didn’t exist between us.
Joel stills, his forehead pressing against mine, his fingers threading into my hair.
For a second, we just breathe.
“You sure?”His voice is rough, frayed at the edges as he strokes the side of my cheek with the back of his hand.
He’d stop if I asked.He’dwait.Hell, I know he would.He alreadyhas.
He’d rip himself apart if I changed my mind.
I lift my chin, meeting his eyes, my fingers combing through his hair.“I’ve never been more sure of anything.”
He inhales sharply, like the words that just passed my lips are words he never thought I’d ever say.His nose brushing against my cheek, and for a second, he just breathes me in.
“Jesus, Anna,” he murmurs.His fingers flex at my waist, like he’s grounding himself.“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted this—wanted to hear you say that.”
I swallow hard, my fingers threading through his hair, pulling him back just enough to meet his eyes.They’re such a deep green, practically burning, but there’s something else there too—something that makes my chest ache.
I stroke my thumb across his lower lip.“Then stop waiting.”
Something in himsnaps.
Suddenly, he’s moving.He carries me through the dim light of my apartment like I’m something weightless, something precious.But then—he pauses.
“Joel,” I murmur, tightening my legs around his waist.
He smirks against my skin, his lips trailing along my jaw, lazy and infuriating.“Mmm, I don’t know, Ace,” he murmurs.“You sure you’re ready for me?”
I huff.“Are you seriously?—”
His teeth graze my pulse point, and Iwhimper.Goddamn him.
“Say it,” he murmurs, nipping at my collarbone, dragging thisout, his hands gripping my thighs hard enough to bruise.“Say youneedme.”
My nails dig into his shoulders.“Ihateyou.”
His laugh is dark, delicious.“Liar.”
He nudges my bedroom door open with his foot, stepping inside with the kind of certainty that steals my breath.His grip tightens, and I feel his heart hammering through his ribs, matching mine—wild and unsteady.His breath is uneven against my cheek, and I realize—he’s feeling this as much as I am.
He lowers me onto the bed, hovering over me, eyes locked on mine.
I reach for him before he can think too hard about what happens next.I pull him down, claiming his mouth with mine, desperate to close whatever space still lingers between us.It needs to be erased—eradicated.
Joel groans into me, his weight pressing me into the mattress, his body fitting against mine like we were carved from the same stone.I feel how turned on he is as he grinds his hips against me—and it just stokes the embers of my own fire.His hands slide over the skin of my stomach, slow but deliberate, and it sends a cascade of goosebumps throughout my body.
I arch into him, tugging at his shirt, needing more, needingto feel him.He lets me strip him down, lets me map the lines of his chest, lets me feel every muscle, every inch of him under my fingertips.
I can’t stop touching him.
I don’t think I ever will.