She glances at it, her brow furrowing slightly as she reads the screen. There’s a brief flash of something—concern, maybe, or surprise—that crosses her face before she quickly flips her phone over, giving me her undivided attention again.
“It’s Anna,” she says, meeting my eyes. “She wants to talk about some social media situation, but it can wait.” There’s a pause, a fleeting hesitation in her voice, suggesting there could be more to it. “Right now, you’re what’s important. We can check on Anna’s news later,” Lily adds with a reassuring smile.
Despite her words, my stupid brain flits back to the drama-fest that happened with Adam’s Instagram a couple of weeks ago. God, if the internet trolls found out we were actually sleeping together, they’d have a field day.
Speaking of which …
“Lily, I slept with Adam, knowing who he was—knowing we’d already—” I swallowed the confession down like a bad pill as tears threaten to spill over. “I’m going straight to hell.”
If there’s a handbook on how to mess up potential relationships, I’m pretty sure I’m writing it.
Chapter One: How to Dig Your Own Emotional Grave.
Lily’s face softens—something I don’t deserve—as a mixture of sympathy and understanding dawns in her eyes. “Carlie,” she says gently, “I’ve been there. Remember everything that happened between me and London?”
I nod, remembering the tangled web of emotions and secrets that had surrounded the beginning of Lily and London’s relationship. It was like watching a rom-com but with the added tension of real-life consequences.
“Sometimes,” Lily continues, “we find ourselves in these complicated situations because we’re afraid. Afraid of the truth, afraid of what might happen if we’re honest. But let me tell you something I learned the hard way … The truth might be scary, but it’s also freeing.”
I let out a small, humorless laugh. “Freeing, huh? Right now, it feels more like I’m handcuffed to a ticking bomb.”
Lily chuckles, but her eyes are serious as she reaches out, giving my hand a reassuring squeeze. “I felt the same with London. But hiding the truth, it’s like a slow poison. It eats away at what could be. Opening up, being vulnerable—it’s hard, but it’s the only way to move forward—to heal. And you’re not going to hell. You’rehuman.” Again with the pointed look. “When I was keeping secrets from London, I thought I was protecting us, but I was just scared. Scared of losing him, scared of facing my past. Scared of moving forward. I have no doubt you’re the same. So, maybe you made a mistake, but that doesn’t define you. What defines you is what you do next.”
“And what should I do?” I ask, feeling the weight of my choices like a heavy cloak around my shoulders.
“Talk to Adam,” she advises. “Be honest with him. Tell him about the past, about the event. Explain why you didn’t tell him earlier. It won’t be easy, but it’s necessary if you want to continue to have a relationship with him.”
I sigh, knowing she’s right. “But what if he hates me for it?”
“Then he’s not the right person for you,” Lily responds firmly. “But if he cares about you, he’ll listen. He’ll understand. And who knows, maybe he already knows and has been too scared to tell you, too.”
I ponder her words, feeling a sliver of hope amid the chaos of my thoughts. “You think so?”
Lily takes a deep breath, her shoulders rising and falling in the motion. “In my experience, relationships are rarely straightforward. There’s always more beneath the surface. The only way to navigate them is through honesty and communication. You’re a writer, Carlie. You know people aren’t just characters in a story we write. They have their own stories, their own reasons. You need to talk to Adam. Get his side of the story.”
I nod slowly, knowing she’s right but hating that it’s not easier. Telling Adam the truth, knowing it could hurt him—or hurt our chances at a future—it’s terrifying.
“I just ... I don’t want to hurt him. Or me. Or us. If there even is an ‘us’ now,” I admit, more to myself than her.
“Then start with honesty,” Lily suggests with a shrug. “It’s the best foundation you can build on. No matter where the story goes.”
I stand up, feeling a little steadier. “Honesty. Right. I can do that.” I offer her a small smile. “Thanks, Lily. For what you could say, anyway. I hope I didn’t put you in a bad position.”
Lily grins at me. “We’re good. Thank you for trusting me with this. It means a lot. See? You’re already making strides at this whole honest and open thing.”
Snickering at her words, I feel a renewed sense of purpose, albeit a shaky one. “Well, I should go. I need to figure out what I’m going to say to him.”
She smiles, a knowing glint in her eyes. “Just remember, no matter what happens, you’re not alone. We’ve all been there in one way or another. And we’ve got your back.”
As I leave Lily’s house, her words echo in my mind.
Honesty.
Communication.
The truth.
They sound so simple, yet they feel like the hardest things in the world right now. But I know she’s right. It’s time to face the music, even if it’s a tune I’m terrified to hear.