“All for what?” frowned Cam. “To be champions? To get a scholarship? I don’t buy it.”
“You don’t buy it because it’s not in your nature,” said Shep. “Sorry, I wanted to listen to all of this because I’m trying to help these kids. Some of them have been brainwashed by their parents to believe that the only option they have is to become a superior, world-class athlete. Others are doing it because they’ve dreamed of this, of being like their hero.
“But I can tell you that the saddest part of all of it, for me, is that they all believe they are not enough. Only one of the eleven that walked out with all of you wanted to change her gender.”
“Her? We left with all males,” said Rory.
“You thought you left with all males. She was in the pack, breasts bound, hair buzzed short, and already showing signs of male features. She’s twenty-one and well aware of what she was doing and the outcome.”
“She chose this?” asked Cam.
“Cam, some of these kids know very early on that they are a gender not their own.” He saw the confusion in the faces of everyone and nodded. “Think about it this way. What if you woke up one day and just knew that you were in the wrong body? You, as a strong, athletic male knew that you were meant to be a woman.”
“I can’t imagine that,” said Eric. “I don’t mean to be flippant about it. I just can’t imagine wanting to be anything other than a man.”
“That’s good. You know who you are and you’re happy with it. But what if you weren’t? What if being a woman was the only thing you wanted? Cross-dressing was not enough. Wearing wigs, not enough. What then?”
“God, Shep, I’m not sure how to answer. I don’t think I can,” said Eric.
“We can’t because we don’t feel the way some of these young men and women feel. I’m a psychiatrist. My job is to help them be happy with themselves. I don’t have to understand it. I don’t have to argue with it. But I know this. I can’t imagine feeling like I’m not in the right body. I can’t imagine not having feelings for Samantha, but instead having intense emotional feelings for you, or Hex or Luke.”
Everyone in the room was quiet, just pondering what Shep laid before them. They didn’t understand because they weren’t in their place. Being gay or bi-sexual was very different than wanting to change your gender.
“Look, I don’t think you need to understand why this woman is choosing to change her identity. It’s not for us to understand, approve of, or disapprove of. I’m here to help guide them in their decisions and you’re here to make sure that whatever they do, it’s done legally,” said Shep.
“I won’t lie,” said Luke. “I don’t understand it and I don’t agree with it but I know that if she were my daughter, or son, it wouldn’t change my love for her.”
“Same,” nodded Eric. Cam and Hex nodded as well, still deep in thought on what Shep laid out for them.
“So, what’s the next step?” asked Hex.
“We get Erin to take a look at the drugs once we get everything from that warehouse. Watch the cameras closely so we can monitor the feed coming from the gym and find a way to be there next week when the committee members are here. I’m not going to watch another kid die unnecessarily,” said Luke. He stared out the windows and the others looked his way.
“What’s up, Luke?” asked Hex.
“Grandma? Grandpa?” he called calmly.
“We’re here son,” said Matthew. “I can’t answer all your questions. It’s not my place.”
“I’m just trying to understand,” said Luke. The others waited for Matthew to respond.
“Luke, I’m not sure we can understand any of this. We’re fooling ourselves if we don’t believe that men dressed as women and women dressed as men, thousands of years ago. Homosexual relationships are as old as time. It is not my place to say whether they are right or wrong.”
“Grandma?”
“Luke, my sweet baby, I won’t make that judgment on any human being. Love is hard to find, honey. To be denied love for what you’re feeling for one human being, regardless of sex, seems cruel.”
“But all this gender changing, I don’t understand it,” said Luke.
“Do you need to?” asked Matthew. He looked at all the people in the room and knew they were thinking about his question. “You don’t. You don’t need to understand it in order to help right the crime that’s happening with these folks. The other stuff, it’s not for you to be okay with or not okay with.”
“But Grandpa,” started Luke. He held up his hand.
“Luke, how many times did you have to let a criminal leave your hold because the battle was done but the war waged on? How many times do you choose to let someone live because of their circumstances? You’ve let at least a few on this property.”
“That’s different, Grandpa.”
“No. No it’s not. Kindness and respect, Luke. I’ve always taught you boys that’s all you need in this life to lead you to where you should go. You don’t have to understand, or agree, or be in line with their beliefs. You don’t have to attend the same church or school, you don’t have to drink their drink or eat their food. Kindness and respect.”