Skydiving.
Oh, hell, no.
I’m not doing that.
15
ELI
“Tell me why I’m doing this again,” I shout as loud as I can over the constant buzz and roar of the engine of the plane, twelve thousand feet in the air.
“Because you said this is what you wanted to do today at lunch,” Max shouts back, gripping onto the handle on the wall of the small plane near the open door.
My own fist is clenched tighter than a vice around the edge of the small seat I’m sitting on.
I’m either going to throw up or shit myself, maybe both.
While I might project a confident image at work and in life, thrill-seeking has never been my thing. This is Max’s thing; it always has been, and now I regret taking Sapphire’s advice last night about doing something outside my comfort zone. Now I’m in it, it’s hideous and fucking terrifying.
If fear knocks, answer it, and step through trembling. That’s where you’ll discover your courage.
The last thing I want to do is face my fears. All I want to do is get the fuck out of the plane, and I don’t mean by jumping out of it.
The wind pouring through the open door pulls at my jumpsuit, trying to lift me out of the plane, but I won’t let it. Can’t. Jumping out of this plane will be my decision and on my terms.
I can’t believe Max does this most lunchtimes and thinks it’s his idea of fun. He’s even smiling like a Cheshire cat, completely fearless and unhinged.
And me? My heart is pounding in my chest, panic beating there like thunder rolling across the hills.
The instructor claps his hands to get my attention. “Eli. You ready?”
I nod stiffly, unable to force a smile; every ounce of my flesh screams at me to say no, and my feet itch to touch the ground below.
The cars below look like ants crawling along the veins of asphalt, while my skin feels like it’s covered by an army of fire ants, stinging my skin as courage drains out of my body.
During the safety brief, I was lying to myself, thinking I could do this. It was foolish of me to cling to that lie as we boarded the plane and then took off like a mosquito taking flight to find its next victim.
That victim is me.
I can’t stop imagining how it will feel when I jump out the door and hit the air… hit nothing as I fall from the sky like a brick, dropping at one hundred and twenty miles per hour.
Fucking terrifying.
“Eli?” Max shouts to get my attention, but my legs wobble when I try to stand up, unable to summon a sliver of courage.
I’ve conquered courtrooms and litigated in front of the state’s top judges, closed billion-dollar deals, and yet here I am, a coward in the sky.
“I’m going now, okay.” Max makes a sign with his forefinger and thumb. Without another word he jumps out of the open door of the plane with a whoop, the wind capturing him and tearing him away from me.
A million horrific images flood my mind: pictures of him on the ground, his parachute malfunctioning, headlines of his death, and my parents’ heartbroken faces.
I shake my head, my ass glued to the seat. I can’t do this.
The instructor barks, “Do it, Eli. Now.”
We’re running out of time.
I don’t care.