“I wanted to hit him.” His gaze was stuck on something in front of him as he spoke. “So bad. But something kept holding me back.”
I kept waiting for him to continue, but he didn’t. But I had been around Jake Evans plenty of times after a disappointing interaction with his father. He played everything off with a joke and a casual attitude that never felt right. He needed something from his dad, but he would never get it by hitting him. Or hating him.
“I’ve got a thought.”
He turned toward me, and my breath caught. There was such a softness in his eyes when he looked at me just then. A gentleness that weakened me. Jake was a man now. It was easy to forget that, in the middle of our back-and-forth jokes and teasing. A maturity had etched itself into his features. There were soft lines on his face, the marks of worry and love for someone greater than himself. It nearly blinded me. Sophie had grown him up in the sweetest way possible.
“What do you got?” he pressed.
I took a deep breath, wondering how Jake would receive my idea, even as the truth of my words burned in my chest before I spoke them.
“Well…from what I can tell, you’ve tried hating him. You’ve tried ignoring him. You’ve tried hitting him. You’ve tried pretending he never existed. But none of that’s worked. There’s always been this part of you that couldn’t let go of the anger. For good reason. But deep inside, he still has such a hold on you.”
Jake leaned forward, head bowed, with his elbows resting on his knees as I continued.
“So, maybe…we can try for something closer to forgiveness this time. See if that does anything.”
He paused before he turned to me. “We?”
My face heated even as I smiled sheepishly. “I’ve been hating him on your behalf for years. So it would probably be good for me too.”
There it was again. The softness. Like it was the first time he was seeing me. My heartbeat began pounding erratically while my toes curled. His eyes drifted to my lips, and my breath caught.
Just then, the screen door came flying open, jerking us both out of something Jake would no doubt regret when he wasn’t so tired.
“Daddy!”
Sophie came flying into Jake’s arms, and her princess nightgown she’d insisted on wearing last night was nowhere to be found. Instead, she wore what looked like an old Halloween costume of a black cat.
“Hey, runt.” Jake squeezed her into him.
“I’m not a runt. I’m a kitty! See! Meow.” She meowed and licked her paw, which had a suspicious-looking brown substance smeared across it.
Jake furrowed his brow in mock confusion. “What has your Aunt Shelby been feeding you this early in the morning? That looks an awful lot like chocolate.”
Sophie beamed a glance in my direction. “She said I could have a treat if I ate all my pancakes.”
A smile lifted Jake’s face. “A treat after pancakes drenched in syrup. Aunt Shelby’s eating habits are top-notch as usual.”
I put my finger to my lips. “You promised you wouldn’t tell.”
Sophie squealed proudly as I tickled her.
Looking once again at Jake, I was alarmed to see the exhaustion on his face once more.
“Soph, should we go put your dad to bed?”
“I’ve got to go feed the cows.” Jake stood up, albeit a bit shaky.
I grabbed his arm. “Logan’s taking care of all the feeding today, and Briggs volunteered to take the guests fishing. You’re under strict orders to take a nap. Soph, grab his other arm before he escapes!”
She giggled, and together, with coaxing and prodding, we propelled Jake through the doorway and past the couch, where Sophie immediately became distracted by cartoons and the coloring page she was in the middle of. I continued pushing Jake toward his bedroom, opening his door and smiling at seeing the rumpled bedsheets and handful of clothes tossed around the floor.
“Even as a grown-up, you’re still as messy as ever,” I commented lightly.
“You just fed my kid syrup and chocolate in the same meal.”
“She told me you do it all the time.”