The only problem with Jake and me finally admitting feelings was that it was done days before I was supposedly moving.
Was I still moving?
Did Jake want me to go?
Would we try long distance?
Did Jake want me to stay?
All of those questions were the kind that I needed Jake to answer. But since we had been officially dating for about twelve hours, it felt a bit...premature.
Necessary. But premature.
It was lunchtime now. Heather had said she’d call in the morning, and I wasn’t sure what to think. Maybe she’d forgotten? Maybe she’d accidentally emailed the wrong person?
Jake came home not long after, found me on my porch step, and sat next to me, rudely moving the computer off of my legs and pulling me onto his lap, where he proceeded to eat half of my sandwich.
After a few minutes, I finally worked up the courage to say what I needed to say.
“So…Boise is going to be calling me soon about that job.”
Jake took a long swig of my ice water before he set the cup down with a satisfied sigh.
“Good.”
I looked at him incredulously. “Good?” I asked.
“Yeah, I’m getting kind of tired of you.”
I smacked his chest while he situated me closer on his lap.
“What do I do?” I said. “I don’t want to leave, but I need you to tell me to stay.”
He breathed out a laugh, pulling me close. “Tuck, I’m in love with you. Have I told you that yet?” His voice melted over me like ice cream on a warm day.
I curled in closer. “No. You’ve been holding out on me.”
“Well, I am. And if that means we move to Boise to take this job, then that’s what we’ll do.”
I had to wade through the word ‘we’ and all the sweetness before I shook my head adamantly. “You can’t move.”
“I can.”
“You’d hate it there.” I couldn’t imagine Jake living anywhere else but right here.
“I’d find a way to love it. I don’t want you to regret anything with us. If you want this job, then I want you to have it.”
“It’s a city.”
He smiled. “I know.”
“You need to be by your mom.”
A flash of worry crossed his face just then. “We’ll work it out. It’s not that far away. We’re going, Tuck. You’re too good a photographer to waste this chance. I’ll be fine.”
And then I knew what this was. Jake’s greatest fear was coming into play. His ex-wife had left him for something shethought was better. His dad had left him for something he had deemed better. Deep down, he was worried I’d do the same.
“What if I don’t want it anymore?” I pressed.