“You are safe with me,” Nikolai says. “I think I’ve made that clear. I could have hurt you but I didn’t because I don’t want to. I want to protect you, Irina.”
“You forced me to marry you.”
“I did. But it’s for your own protection.”
“No. You want me to be yours. You married me for a selfish reason.”
“It’s both. I wanted you and I also wanted to protect you.”
“I just wanted to get away.” I slump onto the bed, all the energy leaving me. “I wasn’t going to call the cops on you. I don’t have anything to use against you anyway. I just… wanted to be my own woman. Make my own decisions. I just wanted to be safe on my own terms.”
He sighs and the anger in his eyes disappears. “I know this is all new to you and you’re afraid. But I will protect you. You’re lucky it was Maksim who found you tonight. He’s a good, loyal friend to me. But it could have been worse. You could have been hurt. And I will do everything in my power not to let you get hurt.”
“I want to believe you.”
“But I need to make sure you learn your lesson. You need to understand how serious I am being, Irina. Your father kept you sheltered. I’m not sure you realize just how dangerous this world is.”
A flare of my own anger surges through me and I jump to my feet. “I’m well aware. I was almost sold off. I was forced into a marriage with a mafia man. I know how dangerous this world is.”
“So, then don’t be naïve. Running from me is not smart. It won’t get you anywhere. I will keep you safe. Just trust.”
“And if I don’t trust you? What will you do to me? Will you hurt me to make me submit?”
“No. I’ll do the opposite. I’m going to show you kindness, so you’ll trust me. But if you try to run again, I might not be there to protect you. So remember that.”
But it still feels like Nikolai is the one I need to be running from.
After a long tense night where neither me nor Nikolai got any sleep, we leave the hotel in the morning. He gives me a dress to wear: pink with black buttons down the front. It’s form fitting and ends right above my knees. It’s a dress a high class woman wears; not a naïve eighteen year old.
So I have to learn to be a woman if I’m going to survive all of this.
Nikolai is clearly annoyed with me as we’re driven from the hotel by his own personal driver. He doesn’t look at me the entire way to his house.
This is his form of punishment: ice me out. Make me feel bad for trying to leave him.
I can’t help but feel some kind of guilt. Nikolai did save me from those other men at the theater. He saved me from my dad. He didn’t force me to sleep with him when he could have.
But he still forced me into a marriage and my mind can’t make sense of it.
We arrive back at his house. It’s just as beautiful as it was yesterday but then, I was in a daze, not knowing what was going on. Now, I know exactly the life I’m in for: one where Nikolai is going to control me.
“Get settled in,” he says once we’re in the foyer. “I have some things I need to attend to.”
“Like what?”
“Work.” He doesn’t offer more of an explanation. Nikolai claimed that he couldn’t give me all the details about the murders he committed as he didn’t want to put me in a position where I would have to lie to the police. He claimed it was for my own protection but I think it’s more for him. He doesn’t want to fully show me the real side to him. The truly dark side.
“Don’t leave without me or a guard,” he says. “One of my men, Jace, is outside. If you need anything, ask him.”
“Ok.”
Nikolai takes my face in his hands. “I want you to be safe. I am asking you to not run again.”
There’s a sincerity in his eyes I want to trust. “All right.” I know I won’t make it far. Not with his guard, Jace, outside the house. Besides, I just want to feel safe for a day and running out into the city doesn’t feel safe.
Nikolai leaves the house and I’m left all alone. With nothing to do, I wander around the house, taking in every room, now that I have time to explore. The mansion, while large, is just a house like any other. Bedrooms and bathrooms. A library. A kitchen. Two living rooms. No creepy basements. No secret dungeons.
The doorbell rings when I’m in the kitchen, making myself a sandwich. I ignore it, but whoever is there is incessant. The doorbell doesn’t stop ringing.