She thinks on it for a moment before she nods. “All right.”
“Good girl.” I press a kiss to her forehead, unable to stop myself. I just need to taste her. Any part of her. When I pull back, she stares at me with an expression I can’t decipher. “Now, get some sleep. It’s been a long day.”
I grab a pair of sweatpants from the suitcase I packed for tonight and slip them on, all for Irina’s benefit. I don’t need to traumatize my wife on our wedding night. Not when I want her to trust me.
Irina slowly gets into the bed and pulls the covers up to her neck. It’s cute. She’s cute. It only makes her more delectable.
“You look like I’m going to kill you,” I comment as I get under the covers with her.
“You did tell me you’ve killed people so it’s not out of the question.”
“I know what I’ve done. But you still don’t need to be afraid of me.”
“Easier said than done,” she breathes out.
I can’t help but chuckle. “I know.”
Her eyes flick over to me and down to my bare chest before flitting away.
“It’s ok,” I tell her.
“What’s ok?”
“You can look. I’m not ashamed of my body. I work hard for it. You can look.”
“No, I can’t.”
“Why not?”
She sighs and still keeps her eyes glued to the ceiling. “Because it’s too intimate. Too personal. I’m not ready for this.”
“I could make you feel so good, Irina. Show you pleasure you’ve never even dreamed of.”
“You don’t know what I’ve dreamed of.”
“Then tell me.”
Her hands tighten on the covers. “I don’t have to tell you everything.”
My hands itch to move but I push the urge to touch her down. I can’t force Irina to trust me. She needs to do it in time. “Fine. In time you can.”
“Thank you.”
“We should sleep. We can talk more in the morning. You’re my wife now. We have a lifetime to get to know each other.”
She doesn’t say a word to that. Her eyes never leave the ceiling, even after I turn off the light.
Irina
I know I have to try and trust Nikolai but I just can’t. I’m too scared and he’s too powerful. The fact that he could have had his way with me tonight is terrifying. Yes, it’s great that he didn’t touch me. But the point that he has the power to do something to me is what I can’t stand.
My dad controlled me my entire life. Dictated what I could and couldn’t do. What I could wear. What I could eat. What I could watch. It became a sort of hell over time.
And now, I’m terrified Nikolai is going to do the same to me. I have to leave. This is my chance.
I’m in a hotel. I can ask for help. Get to a woman’s shelter or something like that. I can get a job. Work my way up. Move out of New York where it’s somewhere cheaper.
Where it’s safer.