“Thanks,” I manage, my voice barely above a whisper. She leads me to the living room, and I drop onto the sofa, silent again as they watch me with quiet concern.
“Are you happy?” Josie finally asks.
“You told me not long ago, you wanted a family,” Gina reminds me.
A tiny wave of joy hits me. I touch my stomach. “I…I do want a family,” I say, my voice catching, a moan catching in my throat. “It’s…Jaxon.”
Gina drops to her knees in front of me, taking my hand. “I think he’s going to be happy too.”
I nod, willing myself to believe her. But they don’t know him like I do. They don’t know his history, his fears.
“You can tell him. In Vegas,” Josie says gently. “I bet he’s going to be thrilled.”
Vegas.
God. I’m going to Vegas in a few hours. I can’t face him now, not until I sort through…what exactly am I supposed to sort through again?
Right. Whether Jaxon will be happy, or think I’ve tricked him into a future he might not want. A future I desperately want. And I’m sure everyone else knows it. That does not sound good.
“I think I need to be alone,” I admit.
Gina nods, standing. “I’ll pick you up in a couple hours for our flight.”
“Okay.”
The truth is, I have to go to Vegas. I need to talk to Jaxon. The thought makes my anxiety spike, but also sharpens something else, determination. I push to my feet, knowing it’s long past time we talk, but I’d never thought our conversation would start out with me being pregnant. “I’ll see you in a couple hours.”
After I see them out, I wander around Jaxon’s house, my brain finally quieting enough to start forming a plan. I’ll talk to him, explain it was a mistake. He’s always trusted me, maybe he won’t think I’m trying to trap or trick him. Betrayal would destroy him. But after everything we’ve been through, after every tender touch and loving kiss, he has to believe I’d never betray him.
I hold onto that thought as I finish packing and wait for Gina. She smiles when she sees me, relieved I’m not quite the hot mess I was earlier. Sliding into the passenger seat, I let her hand find mine.
“It’s going to be good, Row. I just know it.”
I nod, trying to believe her. Trying to believe it for both of us.
I smile, thinking about the life growing inside me, and little bubbles of happiness rise and burst in my chest. I’ve always wanted this. I can’t deny it. I just hope it’s everything Jaxon wants too.
My anxiety to see him makes time stretch, each minute crawling. Finally, we make it to the airport, board the plane, and while the other women read or try to sleep, I stare out the window, imagining a future with him—a family, laughter, tiny hands and tiny feet, all wrapped up in the man I love.
It’s everything my mother never wanted for me, but I can’t live the life she would have chosen. I have to go for what I want, lay it all on the line, and pray that Jaxon wants this too. A half-laugh bubbles up in my throat. If he doesn’t, it would mean my mother was right all along. But I don’t think she is.
By the time we reach our hotel, it’s three a.m. I want to talk to Jaxon so badly, but I know he’s asleep. I need sleep too. I want to be wide awake, steady, ready for whatever conversation is coming. I fall into a deep, dreamless sleep, my body and mind so completely drained that when I wake, the pounding knock at my door makes me jump, my heart leaping, hoping—praying—it’s Jaxon.
I swing the door open.
It’s Gina. Concern shadows every line of her face.
“Is everything okay?” I ask, my stomach twisting.
“Can I come in?”
I step back, unease coiling in my chest, and it’s not just morning sickness. Something’s wrong. I can feel it in my bones.
“Rowyn… I’m not sure how to tell you this…”
“Tell me what?” My voice shakes.
She swallows, hands me her phone. “What is it?”