Her smile is soft. “You and Dad. You seemed to have fun fixing the nativity set.”
My chest tightens, a little squeeze I can’t quite shake. She’s right. I did have fun. Felt like I belonged to something bigger. “Learned how to use a hammer today,” I say, trying to lighten things, though there’s a trace of truth under the joke. “You have a nice family, Jay.”
She nods, letting out a small huff that carries every ounce of worry she’s been holding. “I do. They’re…very supportive. Even after #GobbleGate, they didn’t… they didn’t lose faith in me. I just…” She swallows hard. “I don’t want to let them down again.”
“Babe, you could never let them down,” I say, reaching for her hand. “What happened was a mistake. It could have happened to anyone.”
She shakes her head, the faintest frown tugging at her lips. “Why do all my big mistakes have to happen center stage?”
“Not this time,” I assure her, squeezing her hand. “When you step up there for the tree lighting, I’ve got you. Nothing—nothing—is going to happen. You have my word.”
The tension in her shoulders eases, the lines around her eyes softening. “My big Madman,” she murmurs.
“That’s me. Radman the Madman.”
“You’re so much more than that.” She gives me a kiss, and stares at me for a moment, like she’s waiting for me to see that too.
I glance down at the envelopes, but my hands stop moving. “Do we even have stamps for these?”
“Nope,” she says, a mischievous glint returning to her eyes. “When the kids come to see you after the parade, you’ll hand them out personally.”
I frown at Chloe’s letter. “I realize Santa’s supposed to know every child in the world, but…no idea who Chloe is. And she lives in Snowberry?”
Jay laughs, brushing back a strand of hair. “I’ll help.”
I groan, dramatically, as if the weight of the world just landed on my shoulders. “My God, the pressure. Why did I agree to this again? Do you have me under some kind of peppermint spell?”
“Possibly,” she teases. “And for the record, you did this to yourself.”
“Yeah,” I mutter, grimacing at the memory. “Because there’s no way I’d want you on the float with…him.” I make a face like I just bit into something sour, then take another long sip of my cocoa to wash it away.
She nudges me gently. “You did it for me, Penn. I really appreciate it. I was dreading playing Mrs. Claus with him.”
I stare at her a moment too long, trying to decide if I should say something. “What?” she asks, catching me.
“Nothing,” I mutter, glancing at the fire, fighting the swirl of emotions I can’t quite untangle. Did she start this whole charade to get him back, and maybe that’s none of my business…except Dylan is a colossal jerk, and engaged—not to mention my growing feelings for her—makes it feel impossible to ignore.
I feel her eyes on me, and I look up. The firelight dances in them, and my chest tightens. Jesus. She’s beautiful.
“My family…they really like you, Penn.” I nod, but my stomach tightens. At the core of all this…we’re deceiving them. My chest feels heavier than it should. “Dad always liked you. He saw so much potential in your game.” A pause. Then, “Do you think you’ll maybe…ever try for a different position on the team?”
There it is again. A quiet reminder that maybe I’m not enough, that maybe I don’t measure up.
“I don’t know,” I mutter, trying to mask the sting, and switch topics quickly. “I was surprised to see you with Sloane today.” Her face drops. My back stiffens, something niggling in the back of my brain. “What?”
She shakes her head, brow furrowed. “She…uh…she was alone, and I felt bad for her, so I invited her along.”
My heart beats a little faster. “Of course, you did,” I say quietly.
Her voice softens almost to a whisper. “I don’t know what she was thinking, to say…”
“Jay?” My voice is cautious, because I can feel the tension crawling under her skin.
Her eyes find mine, turbulent and raw. “She said something…about Dylan still having feelings for me. That’s absolutely crazy.” I stay quiet. The words hang between us, heavy and uncomfortable. Her brow furrows as she turns toward the fire, a storm brewing in her expression. “Why would she ever say that? He humiliated me years ago, and he’s engaged, for God’s sake.”
I swallow hard. I’m not surprised, but that doesn’t make it any easier to watch. If he and Sloane ever do break up, if some hidden part of Jay—one she might not even know exists—still entertains a thought of him, it could open a door I don’t want her to see. My jaw tightens. I have to figure out what Dylan’s up to before he can even think about touching her life.
And damn it, I know I’m falling for her. For Jaylynn…for her family too. I have no clue how I’m supposed to handle that.