She smiles warmly at Penn. “It’s so good to have you here. Will Elaine be joining us?”
“No, not tonight.” His smile is polite, but there’s a flicker in his eyes that makes me want to press my palm to his chest and keep the world from getting at him. “It’s National Gingerbread Decorating Day, and she’s busy with that.”
“Well, she’s always welcome if she changes her mind.”
Something in his expression makes my heart pinch—a subtle shift, gone as quickly as it comes. But I recognize it. It’s the look of someone who hasn’t always been welcomed, who’s learned to brace for indifference or worse. I replay my own history with him in my mind. No, I don’t think I was ever unkind. But I also didn’t go out of my way. And now that feels like a missed chance.
“Thank you, Mrs. Quinn.”
“It’s Judy,” she says with a warm smile. A faint blush rises in Mom’s cheeks. “I heard rumors…I didn’t know if they were true or not.”
Of course, she heard rumors. This is Snowberry Falls and news travels faster than snowplows in a blizzard.
“I just didn’t realize…” She trails off as Dad gets to his feet, wrapping me in a hug before clapping Penn on the back hard enough to make him rock a little.
“Good to see you, son.” I don’t miss the way Penn swallows, like the word ‘son’ hit a soft spot. I’m guessing it did. “Been hearing good things. You’ve been hard-hitting…” Dad stops, a flash of embarrassment crossing his face. “…hard-hitting player. On the boards…on the team, I mean.”
Yeah, sure he’s not going to bring up the hard-hitting Penn’s been doing outside of the rink—with Santa and possibly his daughter, but in different ways. Crap, now my cheeks are blushing.
“Thanks, Coach.” Penn grins, then shakes his head. “I mean, Mr. Quinn.”
Dad barks a laugh. “You can call me Will.”
“Right. Will.” Penn chuckles and then clears his throat. “I don’t know why that sounds so weird.”
“You’ll get used to it.” Dad steers him further into the room, “Come meet everyone.” Uncle Jack and Aunt Maureen stand. “We’re all putting together a fun, festive hockey game out on the pond tomorrow. I’m sure they’d all love it if you join us. Jaxon is home and he’ll be playing too.”
For a moment, I lose sight of him in the swirl of family bodies, the buzz of conversation shifting around his tall frame. I stay where I am, surrounded by Mom and Bella, when my other sister-in-law, Katy, comes hustling over. Her eyes are wide, her voice pitched in a scandalized whisper.
“You’re with Penn?”
I can feel Penn’s gaze from across the room, and the weight of it makes my next breath hitch, because his eyes look like they’re silently asking if that’s true, if what’s going on between us is more than just for show. But that’s silly. We’re different people who want different things. I am not looking for a relationship and neither is he. We’re doing this for a purpose, so here goes…
“Uh… yeah. I’m with Penn.”
“Like with with…?”
“I’m not sure what ‘with with’ means, but if you’re asking if we,” I pause and shoot Mom a glance. This isn’t awkward…much. “If we’re ah, romantically involved, then yes.” Look at that. Not a lie, which is probably why it so easily slipped from my lips. I knew sleeping together was a good idea. It makes pretending so much easier.
That, and it totally rocked my world.
As Dad drapes an arm across Penn’s shoulders—just like he’s done countless times on the ice—I find myself watching them. Penn moves easily among my family, greeting each person with that practiced, easy smile. But beneath it, I catch glimpses of something softer. Something almost…hungry. It hits me then. Penn could use a man like my dad in his life—outside the rink.
My brothers, Oliver and Conrad, are more the academic types. They played hockey, sure, but not at a level that ever brushed against the NHL. Not that Dad was disappointed—well, maybe a little. And maybe for the next two weeks, Penn can be the NHL-playing son Dad never had. The thought settles in me like warm hot chocolate. I think that could be very good for Penn. Maybe for Dad, too.
“Well,” Katy says suddenly, looping her arm through mine and giving me a playful shake. “On that note. You have to tell us everything.”
I blink back to the present and realize I’ve got three pairs of curious eyes—Katy’s, Bella’s, and Mom’s—trained squarely on me.
“Look at her,” Bella laughs. “She’s so into Penn she hasn’t even heard a word we’ve been saying.
“Okay, come on.” Mom waves her hand. “Now that everyone is here, time for a family photo.”
Across the room, Penn catches my gaze. That silent connection we’ve been building since we first ran into each other, since I first offered him my room—my bed—stretches between us. He’s not comfortable with being in the family portrait.
“Mom,” I begin. Heck, what am I supposed to say? Penn and I are pretending so he really shouldn’t be in the photo? Ugh.
Mom gathers us all up, and the next thing I know the timer on the camera is set and I’m tucked in beside Penn. His arm circles my waist, steady, but as unsure of this as I am.