“Houston...” Emotions rose, garbled, confused, and uncertain. She didn’t know what she wanted to say to him.
“Come have a cup of coffee with me.” He gave a tug on the sleeve of her white coat.
“Okay.” Who knew what illuminations might arise over a cup of mocha latte? Maybe talking would relax them both, so they could at least pretend when in the presence of other people that they shared a normal working relationship.
Houston walked slowly down the hall, favoring his left leg, and she adjusted her gait to his. Which was an improvement over the way she normally had to come close to running to keep up with him and his giraffe-like strides.
But she sensed his frustration and embarrassment.
“Sorry. At this rate, we’ll get there in time for dinner.”
Looking at his hand bandaged and held protectively across his waist, Josie said, “I guess crutches were out of the question.”
He grimaced. “Yep. Crutches would be a no-no for my hand. Four weeks without movement of any kind. Down to two and a half now, actually. Thank God. ”
As they stepped onto the elevator to go down to the cafeteria, she watched him out of the corner of her eye. “What would you do if I said the W word?”
“W word?”
“Yes. Wheelchair.”
His look of horror answered that question. “Don’t even go there,” he said, leaning against the wall of the elevator. “Besides, I couldn’t wheel the thing myself.” He lifted his hand to indicate why. “So, I would have to rely on other people to push me around all the time. No, thank you.”
Yes, she knew exactly how he felt about people helping him. Especially babbling women who helped him out of his underwear and changed their mind about having sex with him every other day.
As they came to a stop on the first floor, he added, “I can manage for a couple of weeks. It won’t take long for my leg to heal.”
“Especially not with a top-notch surgeon sewing you up,” she said, striving for light and friendly.
“Oh, did Mike do my sutures? I thought you did.”
Friendly faded. For hell’s sake. He couldn’t even give her credit for a decent stitch?
Josie was about to complain when she saw the grin he was struggling to suppress. His blue eyes were dancing. The jerk was actually teasing her.
She laughed, a burst of relief in the face of her fear and tension and awkwardness. “Hey! You’d better watch what you say or I won’t try to be gentle when I take those sutures out.”
The doors slid open and they stepped out of the elevator. “Somehow, Dr. Adkins, I find it hard to believe you would be anything but gentle.”
Josie wasn’t sure what he meant, but his voice was soft and husky, his gaze locked on her. He leaned closer to her, his aftershave scent filling her nostrils and flinging her heart into her throat. They were so close to touching, had done intimate things with each other, yet there was an ocean-wide gap between them that she didn’t know how to bridge.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured, tips of his fingersbrushing across ,the small of her back. “I didn’t mean to tear into you like that last week at my condo. I know you were just trying to help, and I appreciate it. I really do. I’m sorry, Josie. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
And because she was an idiot, who was certain she had lost at least two out of the four chambers of her heart to him, and because she understood that there were parts of Houston she hadn’t seen yet, she shrugged. “It’s okay.”
But given that it had been a big old scoop of pain with a dollop of humiliation on top, she added, “Just don’t do it again.”
He gave a startled laugh. “Believe me. I’ll try not to.”
“No try, only do,” she said in her best Yoda imitation, resorting to humor as a shield for her embarrassment. She did not want to be having this conversation in a hallway.
“I know you wanted to be friends, but I can’t, because I can’t separate my lust from my other feelings, and I really am sorry for that.”
So was she. Because if he couldn’t have feelings for her aside from lust, their relationship, such as it was, really was over.
As they approached the cafeteria, Houston shook his head, expression serious. “I wish... I could...”
Then without finishing his thought, he shoved the glass door open with his good arm and spoke in a low, warm voice. “Ladies first.”