“What do you mean?” she said, kicking at the carpet.
“I mean, get the doctor attitude. Stroll into that OR like you own the place. Confident, arrogant.”
She didn’t say anything, just worked her toes back and forth, collecting a little pile of gray carpet fuzz.
“When you doubt yourself, so does everyone else.”
The look on her face was killing him—that sad little resigned expression, green eyes wide and moist. He had to get the hell out of there, away from her and her needs and wants, away fromhisneeds and wants, back to the hospital where it was all simple andeverything made sense. And where he didn’t have to feel anything, but just did his job with a cool detachment that made him a stellar surgeon.
“Why don’t we discuss this on Monday? We can schedule an appointment to talk in my office, and we can plan the rest of your residency. We’ll call in Dr. Sheinberg for a little strategy session.”
So he could avoid doing this here, now, when he felt strangely vulnerable and she looked so fuckable.
Josie gave a nod. “Fine.”
Houston studied her, running his eyes up and down the luscious length of her body, aware this was probably the last time he could look at her with frank appreciation. “I had an incredible time, Josie. I’m sorry things got interrupted.”
But... Josie waited for the but that never came. Nolet’s do this again, let’s pick up where we left off.Nothing.
He chucked her chin.
Her chin. Like a kid at an autograph signing. Like a wannabe surgeon who he was trying to dismiss.
Then he said, “Thanks.”
If he had said “Thanks for the fuck on my living room floor,” it might have actually made her feel better. But, nope. Just a tepid thanks. Praying for sophisticated words to miraculously leave her mouth, she forced a shrug.
“No problem.” The problem was there wasn’t a single sophisticated bone in her body, and while he wanted to distance himself, she suddenly wanted to adhere to him. “You’re welcome. And anytime you want a repeat, just call me,” she added, and instantly hated herself for it.
The smile fell off his face. His lips pursed together. “We can’t...” he started to say, but she cut him off by brushing past him towards the door.
She was an intelligent woman, with a medical degree, who was cute and upbeat, damn it. She didn’t need his repeat sex. She had gone into this with her eyes wide open knowing exactly what hewanted, and she would walk away with her head held as high as possible from the height disadvantage of five-foot-one.
“The hospital’s going to wonder what happened to you.” She jammed her feet into her rubber flip-flops with hands that only shook slightly. “Don’t worry, Houston, tonight never happened.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Houston lay on his beach towel, furious with himself. He’d done exactly what he hadn’t wanted to do.
He’d hurt Josie.
She had stared at him Saturday night, her big green eyes wet with unshed tears, telling him she’d forget their night together had ever happened, and he had felt like the biggest pile of garbage north of Miami. A goddamn smelly landfill, leaking and dripping and festering.
Things between them hadn’t gone at all as planned. He wasn’t supposed to like Josie as a person. He was supposed to have screwed her out of his system with casual sex between consenting and emotionally unattached adults, not spending every waking second feeling guilty. And lonely.
For Josie. For her laugh, her smile, her silly little run-on sentences.
His decision to have sex with Josie had been made by his dick, and his dick had definitely led him into disaster.
He was not relationship material, and Josie was a settling-down kind of woman. It was better this way. He had cut ties before her emotions were truly engaged.
She might have been a little hurt Saturday, especially since he’d been called to the hospital early in the evening, but she would get over those feelings a hell of a lot easier than if he had strung out an affair with her over months like he was tempted to do.
Houston pushed his sunglasses onto his head and sighed. He could rationalize with himself for hours—in fact, had been—but he still felt like shit. And he still wanted to scoop Josie up into his arms and offer her another round of the dirty doctor.
Christian nudged him on the leg with his foot. “One more run, H, then I’ve got to call it a night. Kori will have my ass if I’m not there for bedtime stories.”
Dennis laughed. “Sounds kinky.”