“You really want to know?”
Do I?
I’m not present enough to be sure, and Cam sees it in my face before I find the energy to give him a real answer.
“Saint didn’t kill anyone,” he says with bluntness Mal would be proud of. “But he made sure we weren’t repeating our own mistakes of the past and leaving things to chance—for you, or for Mal every time he gets to thinking what could’ve happened to you that night and wants to murder the world all over again.” Cam’s not fucking around. His gaze hardens, giving me a truth I can’t hide from. “This shit is dead, and it’s going to stay that way. Oh, and we just put in for the contract to rebuild the lifeguard base. Probably won’t get it, but if we do, we’ll be around a lot more until it’s done.”
He leaves me on that note, roaring off into the morning loud enough to wake every neighbour we have.
It’s deliberate.
I know it is.
Showing his face at the Joker for me, for Sol. In the past I’d have chased him down and called him a cunt. But that fight…it’s not in me today, and given what he’s just dropped on me, it’s probably just as well.
I retreat inside, treading the gravel with my own feet, and upstairs it’s breakfast time.
Sol’s by the stove, where he belongs.
Jack’s at the table, Fiadh and her pups at his feet. His gaze finds mine as I slip into the room, and I see the empathy there. The concern. The anxious affinity that would usually send me straight to the gym or a double shift not on my schedule.
I take a seat beside him instead. I’m not running today. How can I when Mal’s perched on the counter, watching me without looking, giving me the space I need without letting go—because he’s already figured out how to hold on without caging me in.
Jack rubs my shoulder with his fist, leaving the hug he wants to give me for another time.When he’s sure he won’t break you. “You need anything?”
“Nah, I’m all right, Jack.”
“You didn’t hit your head again?”
“When?”
“When you fell. I think Mal caught you, but I’m not sure if I’m remembering it right.”
“You are.” Sol comes to the table with plates and sets one in front of Jack. One in front of himself.
Mal follows with his own and leaves another close to me without comment. Presence, not pressure. His shoulder brushes mine as he claims the same seat he’s been sitting in from the start.
The contact grounds me.
I reach for the plate.
Drag it in front of me.
Then I reach for him, gripping his chin, turning his head so I can see his beautiful face. “I forgot to tell you something.”
“Aye? What’s that then?”
“I love you too.”
EPILOGUE - MAL
My bag lives under the bed, unpacked and empty for the first time I can remember.
My bed.
Our bed.
I don’t fucking know. Just that I love sharing it with Skylar as much as I love him, and apart from my friends, I don’t miss a single thing about my old life.