Mal feels it and applies subtle pressure to my abdomen, fighting the tension with the warmth of his touch. Unbelievably, he wins. “Take your time, I’m here.”
He is.
So am I.
I get a hold of myself and spit another truth. A harsher one that narrows my vision until it’s all static. “Some of the victims the Kings showed me…they looked like me. That’s why Cam’s dad sat me down one day and asked me if my parents ever tried to fuck me.” I swallow, my throat raw with bile. “I told himno, but the thing is…they drugged me my whole life, so I can never be sure—and I know that’s why I can’t stop controlling every little thing that goes in my body. Why I visit her…my mum, in the prison. To make sure she’s suffering as much as I am, because I fuckinghatethat she might not know what she did to me.”
Mal doesn’t say anything for a long time. He just moves closer, filling the space behind me on the couch again and curving around me. He lets his hands roam beyond my belly and it’s not long before the shirt I’ve pulled on is back on the floor.
But it’s not sexual, it’s comfort, and I lean into it, even as my dick responds as if I haven’t spent the last month pushing my body to the brink, and most of the past few hours fucking around.
I close my eyes, nearly asleep when he finally speaks.
“I’m burning the next visiting order.”
Works for me. I fall asleep to his growled vow and I don’t dream. I don’t wake up in a vice of forced control either.
I wake up to Mal still holding me. Holding my face, to be specific, coaxing me to awareness.
“Jack and Sol are on their way back.”
I blink and glance around, taking in the hazy sunshine filtering through the windows, casting rays on the wood floor. “It’s morning already?”
“Barely, but Sol says Jack’s awake and wants to come home, so that’s what’s happening.”
I sit up and it’s easier than it was yesterday. My body aches with good feelings.Malfeelings, and when I look at him, something in my chest expands so wide I swear I feel my ribs crack.
He’s not even doing anything. Just swiping the lube bottle from the coffee table and glancing around for any more sex detritus.
But then he catches me staring, our gazes lock, and I feel it again, this quiet, relentless blooming in my heart. Stronger than shame. Louder than guilt. Brighter than all the dark, bad, and messy things I’ve let rule my life for so long.
I open my mouth.
Take a breath.
But the front door opens before I can speak and Jack and Sol seem to move at the speed of light.
They appear in the living room a split second later, and they’re not alone. They have dogs—plural—and it’s a phenomenon that absorbs Mal so fast I fuckinglaugh.
It draws Sol to my side as he joins me watching the Gallagher brothers fuss over the wiry silver dog and her pups. “They live here now, in case you were wondering.”
“I wasn’t. It’s obvious.”
“That okay with you?”
Anything that makes Mal’s grin spread so wide his eyes crinkle is more than okay with me. And perhaps it shows on my face.
Sol threads an arm around my shoulders. “You scared the shit out of me yesterday.”
“Sorry.”
“Don’t be. I just…” Emotion gets the better of him. He shakes his head. Pulls me in tighter. “I’m glad you and Mally have each other.”
So am I. We’re three feet apart and I already miss him. I should buy a new bed, but I know I’m not going to.
Mal scoops a puppy into his arms just as the other fires a giant piss onto the floor at his feet.
I watch him sidestep the mess, his body moving with natural grace and agility. I picture him swimming in the lagoon, the sun in his face, and it feels the same, because there’s nothing ordinary or mundane about this man.