Thing is, though, standing in that shower, the scent of him—of Skylar—all around me, it’s the kind of distraction that spells trouble. I’m hard before I can blink and it pisses me off. I like sex. I like hookups. But it’s a fragment of who I am. A sideshow to my real life. I’ve never had any trouble pushing attraction aside before. Hell, I did it with Vinnie for half a decade and my cock never ached the way it does now.
Calm your tits.
His order from beyond the grave doesn’t help. I glare at my dick with enough venom I’m shocked it doesn’t wither and die, but only blasting myself with frigid water cools my blood even a fraction and I abandon the shower, thankful for nothing except Skylar not coming home to catch me standing to attention in his bathroom.
It’s not my finest hour, but I can’t spend another minute in my room. I dress in my last unworn t-shirt and despite an urge to blow downstairs and justrun, I follow the sound of bickering to the kitchen.
The Bosanko brothers clamour by the stove, arguing about whatever’s going on in the pans Sol’s tending. Sev, his younger brother, is a foot taller than when I last saw him, his hair a shade darker. Still a skinny fuck, though, at least next to Sol.
They don’t hear me coming. I lean in the doorway, watching their scrap unfold. Sol’s stronger than Sev, but he’s not going to win. He’s too emotional, too nice. Sev could light him on fire and he’d still use his own blood to put out the flames.
Sev elbows him out of the way. “I don’t know why you’re cooking all this anyway, he’s probably not even hungry. Jack never was when he first came home.”
They’re talking about me. Fucking amazing. I need to break this shit up before I cringe myself through the hardwood floors. But Sol says the magic words that derail me.
“Skylar should be home soon.”
Sev shakes his head. “Like that makes a difference?—”
He notices me and drops the spatula he’s holding. It clatters to the floor and Sol jumps out of his skin.
I just stare, watching them, knowing I could make it easier, but lacking the energy to do it.
“Fuck.” Sev bends to scoop up the spatula. He tosses it at Sol’s bare chest—neither of them are wearing more than old jeans—spattering him with hot oil, and wipes his hands on acloth before he takes a hesitant step towards me. “I haven’t seen you since I was a kid.”
There’s not much to say to that—it’s true. But even though I know nothing about the man who stands before me now, I’ve always cared about Sev.
He gets close enough that I can ruffle his dark hair.
I do it, noting his slim-fitting charcoal jeans are nothing like Sol’s weather-worn stone-washed denim. That his ink is more urban than the seafaring legacy etched all over his brother.
He got out of here.
I’m out of touch, but I scent the freedom on him as I pull him in for a fleeting hug. “You smell like the city.”
Sol snorts. “Like hipster beer and bad dick.”
“Fuck off.” Sev levels a glare over his shoulder. “Don’t take your self-imposed celibacy out on me.”
Hurt flares in Sol’s eyes, but Sev doesn’t see it. He runs his gaze over me, from my bare feet and ancient cargo shorts to the t-shirt that was probably once red. “I thought you’d look worse. Sol’s been acting like you died.”
“Sev.”
It’s not Sol who speaks, it’s Jack, from behind me. I should’ve heard him coming. A month ago, it would’ve got me killed. Now,it means nothing more than I have to move to let him past, but he stops in the doorway and looks me over with stronger perception than Sev or Sol. “You didn’t sleep?”
“Maybe later.”
He nods, letting it go like he did last night, but again seems to second-guess himself and he turns back a half a step later. “You can get me up if you’re awake all night.”
“Why would I do that?”
“So you’re not on your own.”
“I’m fine.”
Jack frowns, as if he’s got so much more to say, but he can’t find it in his brain.
Then he moves on, gravitating to where Sol’s returned to the stove, and I watch them because it’s easier looking out than looking in. To watch my brother seek reassurance in his best friend, and Sol smile at him with the same love he always has, except it’s dimmed by sadness now. Maybe because Jack never needed that reassurancebefore.