Dizzy as hell, I pulled back and pressed my forehead to his. “Drive like we love you, okay? Fucking promise me.”
Saint nodded. I couldn’t remember when I’d last heard his voice, and that wasn’t about to change. He held my gaze long enough that I believed the words he couldn’t say. Then he squeezed my hands and stepped back.
Time to go.
Sending my brothers out on the road never got any easier. I watched them say goodbye to their loved ones and climb into their cabs, and it hurt. One day we’d live a life where we didn’t have to do all the work our fucking selves, but we weren’t there yet, and it weighed on me like a ten-ton anvil strapped to my back.
Mateo and Decoy led the pack out of the lorry hub. Bertha, their HGV, was the newest and biggest, and the engine shook the ground louder than any hog.
Juana took Hope inside.
Ivy scrambled from Folk’s shoulders to mine to get a better look, her balance on point, which let me know she was pulling my hair for fun. “Is my dad really driving that?”
“Yup.” I pried her fingers from the mess on top of my head. “It’s a big one, eh?”
“Where’s Saint?”
“At the back. With Locke. See?”
I pointed to where Saint and Locke were effectively tail-gunning, while Rubi and Ranger endured the oldest rig—the Bone Rattler—in the middle of the pack of eight trucks assigned to the run. My gaze drew naturally to Saint, watching him manoeuvre the lorry as if he’d been born to, when the truth was, he hated it—the noise, the pollution, the monotony of the motorways. But as he steered the HGV through the gates, Locke caught my attention.
He tipped me a nod, which I returned, but I heard the message as loud and clear as when he’d cornered me last night, his laid-back nature overtaken by concern for everyone he was leaving behind for his part of this run.
Take care of them.
His kids. Nash. My sister. They’d been through a lot, with more to come, and in an ideal world, Locke wouldn’t have been on the road. But an ideal world was a life that happened to other people. For us, thanks to his years behind the wheel of a fire engine, Locke was our best driver. More than that, he was calm—sensible—and honestly, with Rubi and Ranger on the road, Decoy would need the back up.
The engine noise faded, leaving diesel fumes and an eerie quiet in its wake.
River didn’t like it. I’d been too wrapped up in Saint to witness him saying goodbye to Rubi, but I felt his vulnerability now like a kick to the chest. I understood it, and I didn’t fucking want to.
I set Ivy down. Her shoelace was undone. I crouched to fix it and straightened her mismatched socks. “Did you get dressed in the dark?”
Ivy laughed. “No, I just didn’t want to choose and my dad said it didn’t matter.”
“Which dad?”
“My extra-special bonus dad.”
Despite the weight in my chest, a smile split my face in half. This kid, she was better than therapy. “Well, he’s usually right, though when it comes to socks, he might be spending too much time with River.”
“Rubi says River has six brains.”
“Well, Rubi’s usuallywrong, so?—”
Ivy pressed her hand over my mouth, smothering my words, protectiveof the cuddly uncle who encouraged food fights and mayhem. Only Saint ranked higher, and I could live with that. He was my number one too, a place in my heart he was happy to share.
I let Ivy go. It was a weekday—she had school, so did Liliana, like every regular kid, and normality was good for them. Grounding. I’d fucking hated school, but I couldn’t deny I missed those blissful days when I’d had nothing to worry about except my siblings shanking dipshits in the playground.
One fucking time.
My sister’s phantom voice drew my focus from the empty space Ivy had left behind. Everyone had gone, but I felt eyes on me that I couldn’t pinpoint until Viktor stepped out of the shadows, less ghost-like than Alexei but with the same ninja stealth. The same stare that seemed to see everything, and I couldn’t handle that right now. I needed space. I needed tobreathe,as much as I ever could without Alexei and Saint beside me.
I nodded at the scarred helmet tucked under his arm. “Brother, let’s ride.”
2
VIKTOR