How many years?
Did it matter?
Probably not.
Hot fingers trembled on my face. “Come back.”
“I’m still here.”
Cam cocked his head to stare at me, still holding my jaw, his other hand gripping my hip as if he was scared I really would leave.
I kissed him.I’m here.
I kissed him again.I promise.
He relaxed again and we lost more time to being wrapped up in each other. We didn’t fuck again, but he did shit to me that took me out of my body. And I blew him again, he came in my mouth, and it took a while for him to put himself back together.
I rubbed his chest, waiting on the tremor to ease from his limbs and for an answer to the question he’d likely forgotten about.
“Why are you staring at me like that?”
Because I was starting to feel tired too. The connection between my brain and my voice was always tenuous, but as my body began to give in, it fizzled out to pretty much nothing.
I slid a hand over Cam’s scarred and battered shoulder and found the spot that was making him wince.
He remembered the question I’d asked before he’d blown his load down my throat. “Ivy talked me into sleeping on her bedroom floor every night this week. Cos that’s whatyoudo.”
“While she’s looking. Then I sit on the landing and read Folk’s pirate books until she wakes up.”
Cam blinked, as surprised as me that I’d strung two sentences together. “FuckingFolkdidn’t tell me that.”
“He—”Fuck.My throat closed up. I mean, it didn’t, but it felt that way, and fighting it made breathing too hard, and I’d learned not to do that around Cam. It scared him.
I took a slow inhale. “I never stayed with Folk. Just Decoy.”
When Alexei and Folk had been gone so long, I’d almost choked on the fear they’d never come back. On the very rare nights Folk had been on the road since.
Cam kissed the unicorn on my neck. “That kills my next question.”
Say it anyway.
He sighed, his body heavy with the guilt and concern he rode more than his fucking hog. “I didn’t realise how fucked up Folk’s been over Rocco.”
“Rocco?”
Cam elaborated, telling me shit that made a cold shiver slink down my spine. Nightmares. PTSD. A desperation for relief so bad our brother had returned to the habit of jumping off cliffs. “It rattled me, seeing him caught in that. And he seemed so low after, I’m fucking scared we’ll lose him to it.”
“Why?”
“Cos I can’t see where it ends. Rocco’s dead. We found his fucking bones. How do you get closure from that if time isn’t enough?”
Closure.
Something clicked in my brain. Somethingloud. The scar on my belly wrenched, twisted and raw, and smoke filled my lungs.
Cam frowned. “What’s wrong?”
I didn’t know. Not yet. I pulled Cam closer, shifting onto my back so he could rest his head on my chest.