I clamped a hand over it. “I know I’m shit at everything, but I believe you when you tell me that’s what you love about me, cos I love every annoying piece of you too, and I wantmoreof that—I want all of it, in every way we fucking can. I want it forever, boo. And I want the whole world to know it.”
Beneath me, Rubi had gone very still. Eyes wide, brows stuck halfway up his head. I couldn’t tell if it was horror or joy, so I kept going, digging in my pocket for the rings Remy had sent me.
I dropped them on Rubi’s chest. “I asked Remy to make us these. And I did the notice thing with the registrar. It’s the most organised I’ve ever been, and it wasn’t even on purpose, but I’d really fucking love it if you could help me out and show up.”
Slowly, so slowly, Rubi’s hand came up to wrap around my wrist, prying my palm from his mouth. His face didn’t move. He didn’t blink. Then his mouth tried to form words. “Youwant this? For real?”
“Do I look like I’m taking the piss?”
“No, I—fuck.” Rubi shook his head. “You gotta give me a fucking second here, Riv. You’ve blown my tiny mind. I never thought—I never fuckingdreamedyou’d ever want something like this.”
“Why not?”
“Because... actually, I don’t know.”
Rubi plucked the rings from his chest and palmed them from one hand to the other and back again, trying to compute everything I’d dropped on him. Trying to see the future perhaps, which was easier now we knew where the rings on Mateo and Embry’s fingers had come from. “Married, eh? So... you’d be my old man, all official like?”
“You’d bemine.”
“Always have been, mate.”
“Yeah, yeah. Look, you don’t have to say anything now, and it doesn’t even matter. It’s just how I feel, and I wanted you to know.”
Rubi stopped tossing the rings around, an incredulous stare building on his face. “Not fucking say anything? Who do you think you’re talking to?”
“I know who I’m talking to.”
“Don’t sound like it.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“What does it mean?” Rubi tipped back his head and laughed—likereallylaughed, his big body shaking mine like I was in a goddamn blender. “It means yes, Riv. A thousand fucking times, it meansyes.”
36
SAINT
Rubi said yes.
It was the least shocked about anything I’d ever been. And I couldn’t lie, the relief in River as Rubi took the whole thing out of his hands and conspired with Folk to mould his batshit plan into something workable... it was a relief forme.
I loved that kid. Seeing him so close to unhinging over something so beautiful—so inevitable—had fucking disturbed me.
Decoy was disturbing me too. He followed me out of the timber store and into the new office we’d just built for the HGV hub. I didn’t like it—the office, not him. Fresh paint made me crave freshairand I was halfway to the door before he caught up with me.
“Can I ask you something?”
Finally. He’d been giving me weird looks all morning.
I made myself stop and turn round.What?
“Folk asked Ranger to be his best man.”
So?
“I’d really like it if you’d be mine.”
My gut twisted, refusal burning up my throat faster than any other words ever had.