But he had me upstairs and in bed before I found the words. Naked. Safe in his arms, the trembling I’d carried all day without really noticing finally fading out.
“There you go,” Rubi whispered into my hair. “I know something’s bothering you, Riv. I can feel it humming beneath your skin. But I can wait forever for you to tell me. So whatever it is, stop worrying about it on my behalf, okay? I got you, and I always will.”
I fell asleep to that promise. To Rubi’s inked fingers carding through my hair and stroking my bare back. To him humming some ridiculous tune that seemed to fit the loop of Saint’s mantra.
Ask him. Ask him. Ask him.
Soon.
A promise of my own.
Soon.
35
RIVER
The trouble withsoonwas it never seemed to come around. Early spring became late spring, and with the sunshine came more and more hours to be awake and fuckingbusy.
I began to hate the garage, even though keeping Nash’s baby afloat while he cared for real-life babies was a role I was actually good at. And I already hated the haulage firm. Anything that took Rubi away from me for days at a time—weeks—yeah, I still wasn’t over that—could fuck all the way off and die.
But it wasn’t always lorry shit that ruined my day. Sometimes it was church meetings I didn’t want to attend but somehow found myself back in the fold anyway.
Kinda. This one was at Nash’s house—in the kitchen, around the French oak table I’d watched Saint build in the yard a few weeks back. Thebigtable—big enough for three parents, four kids, and any brother my sister liked enough to feed.
But I wasn’t here for dinner. None of us were. Even Ranger, whose presence surprised me as much as my own, but Cam pulled his big boy president act before I could question it.
“All right, shut the fuck up.” He rapped his knuckles on the table in lieu of the gavel. “Thanks for coming, everyone. I know some of you want to be somewhere else already.”
That was for me. I shot him a middle finger, but he just grinned. Like most of the brothers in the room, Cam was too chill these days to give a fuck about me and my stinking attitude.
“We’ve got a few things to cover, and I’ll get through them as quick as I can, but I’m warning you now, it’s a lot.”
“Is not that much if you do not ramble.” Alexei leaned back in his seat, showing his arms for the first time since last winter, wearing a T-shirt so white it hurt my eyes. “Start at the beginning, finish at the end.”
“Thanks for that.” Cam’s tone dripped sarcasm. “You want to do this?”
“No. I wish to leave, I have things to do.”
Cam might’ve retaliated, but Saint made a sound I didn’t quite catch, and Cam let it go and cracked on. “First up, the old Crow territory. We’ve spent all winter renovating the auto shop there to give it back to the old boys who used to work there. That’s happening next week—it’s going to be attached to the local college and churn out diplomas and shit for anyone who wants one.”
Locke frowned. “Who’s running it?”
Cam named a veteran Crow even I knew to be a decent bloke. “And that’s where our involvement ends. If they fuck it up, it’s on them.”
“What about the rest of the buildings?”
“We’ve already donated half of them back to the local council. The others, along with a few more locations we have around the county, are going to be part of a new initiative thathe’sgonna run.”
Cam pointed at Decoy, his ever-present ledger, and the notes he’d already taken. A brother who’d grown more comfortable with every set of eyes in the room trained on him.
A brother who leaned forward instead of ducking his head. “We’re seeing a lot of wastage and landfill since we took on those supermarket-distribution contracts. Fresh food. Dried goods. Even domestic cleaning shit. So much of it’s ending up in the bin, so we’re going to set up some locations to give it back to the community.”
Rubi knocked his fist on the table. “Sounds good. RebelKind,eh, Cammie? Just like your da wanted. Just tell us what you need to get it up and running, Deeky.”
Decoy grinned. “I was hoping you’d say that. I could do with your help with the foodbank stuff. And anything that involves talking to lots of people at once.”
“I’m all yours, big daddy.”