“I built it to stop me twatting my own skull with a shovel.”
“At the time, perhaps, but everything we do has deeper meaning, biker boy.”
“Oh yeah? Why did Saint invite Jake for Christmas then? Beyond it being the best present anyone could ever give Viktor?”
“Maybe he grew tired of death.”
I turned to face Alexei, crowding him against the counter. “Tired of you threatening to kill him?”
Jake, not Saint. I didn’t need to explain that to Alexei. Just as well as he kissed the hollow of my throat, overriding my cognitive function. “Tired of mewantingto kill him.”
An important distinction, even to my drunk brain. “Did it work?”
Alexei’s shrug was noncommittal, but the fact that Jake still breathed said more than any words ever could. That he was here to bear witness to the private moment we’d carved out in the corner of my crammed kitchen.
“I love you.”
“You should.” Alexei kissed me again, then drew back to survey the room over my shoulder. “I have been nice all day, to everyone, even you.”
“It wasn’t that hard. You like Christmas.”
“Do I?”
“Yes.” He could deny it all he wanted, but I knew him better than he’d admit. If he hadn’t wanted to be here today, he’d have been somewhere else.
More laughter came from the table. Viktor had nobbled Jake in whatever game they were playing. Jake punished Rubi who had, of course, inserted himself as if it was perfectly fucking normal to spend our evening with retired Russian gangsters. Because it was normal.Ournormal. And we wouldn’t have survived to live this day without them.
Viktor.
Jake.
Alexei.
“Dodger, you’re up.” Rubi shuffled the cards with enough clumsy flare to send them flying.
The kids scattered to pick them up. Jake glanced between Viktor and Rubi. “Dodger? Like the biscuit?”
“If you like.” Rubi dealt a round. “Suppose we’ll have to call you Jammie, then, innit?”
In my arms, even Alexei smiled. Entranced by him, I pulled him closer and shut my eyes. Holding him was so different to holding Saint, but no less perfect. He smelled as good, and the hard planes of his slimmer frame made my blood rush south. Why were there so many people in my goddamn house right now?
Alexei laughed, quiet enough that only I heard. “Sober up, biker boy. When they are gone, the time will come foryouto be nice tome.”
27
CAM
I knew full well what Alexei meant wasn’t anything fuckingnice. And I was here for it. But the best Christmas we’d had since my parents were alive turned into a day and night that didn’t want to end, and I passed out slumped against Rubi like we were fourteen years old again before I got to make good on my promise.
It was dark when I woke alone on the couch with a headache, a crick in my neck, and no fucking clue what time or day it was.
The house felt empty. But I wasn’t as preternatural as my lovers. I couldn’t tell if they were nearby or awake just by wanting to know. To find out, I had to get up and look, which I regretted as much as the rum I’d drunk sometime after River had passed Nash my dad’s old guitar.
Some fucked-up Shane MacGowan song echoed in my head. I rubbed my temples, deducing that no one I cared about lurked on the ground floor of the house, and stumbled upstairs and into the shower.
Cold water woke me up.
Hot water put me back in a booze-fuelled daze.