“And I thoughtyousaid you didn’t know him.”
“I don’t. Just seen him around.” That’s how I knew he was hot, and I couldn’t deny I found as much comfort in the knowledge this dude was young and gay as I did in his fighting skills. “You think I should talk to him?”
“Depends how involved you want to be. I thought the idea was that you weren’t.”
Embry had made the same point. Which meant I couldn’t ignore it, and the energy I’d woken with went into overdrive.
I abandoned my chair and paced the chapel, ignoring the discomfort, letting it fade to insignificance, trying to see the bigger picture in Juana going out into the world and living the life she deserved.
What if she got married?
What if she had another baby?
All those things and what they meant for the unconventional family we’d built.
“Mats.” Cam rose and got in my fucked-up face with a gentle interception that didn’t feel like his first. He gripped my shoulders. “Look, I know it’s fucking hard, but whatever’s going to happen to her, you have to let it. Same as I had to do when River left.”
“He came back.”
“Yeah, and there’s no saying she’s even going to leave. But your kids might one day, and you’ll have to let that happen too. Trust me on this, fighting it just kills everything quicker.”
Ominous words, but he meant them enough that I agreed to him calling Axel and handling the whole thing for me. I trusted him enough, which through no fault of Cam’s hadn’t always been true. But things had changed—I’d changed, and this fucked-up thing we called life had moved on.
Cam set a meet with Axel. I tuned out of the details, letting my thoughts stray to Embry and how we’d begun our day. My blood heated before the first image hit me, head swimming for reasons I clung to, leaving the stress I’d overthought myself into behind.
It was easy to see how Embry had got his rep among the women. I lacked the capacity for multiple orgasms, but as the release he’d driven me to this morning rattled through my brain, I mused it was probably for the best.
No way I’d survive two of those in a row.
Or how hard I’d come when he’d pinned me down for round two and reset the balance.
Cam rapped his knuckles on my skull. “Wake up.”
“I’m not asleep.”
“Not what I meant.”
“Eh?”
He shook his head. “I’m not used to you being spaced out. It’s fucking weird. You need more food?”
I was still stuffed to the gills from the breakfast he’d piled on my plate. Truly, the only thing I needed right now was Embry, and lucky for me, I had the best reason in the world to go plant myself where he was. “Lili has a half day at school. I need to pick her up and take her to the farm.”
“I know. Rubi’s going with you.”
“What? Why?”
“A couple of reasons.” Cam grinned and mussed my hair. “One, we weren’t sure you were up to driving that far. Two, I need to do a site inspection and Rubes is pretty good at keeping Joe out of my face.”
“You’re coming too?”
“Yup.”
On his hog, thank fuck. Driving to Cornwall and back didn’t faze me, but being trapped in a car with my boss, Rubi,andmy lippy kid for an hour each way was a hard no.
We emerged from the chapel into bright winter sunshine.
Decoy was in the yard, raising the massive Christmas tree into place. He beckoned me closer as I neared him and tugged me into a brief embrace. “Missed you, brother.”